ouijevis //

bought a camera today..


it sucks.
im returning it.

dont mind the mess, its not always like that.
& I KNOW I LOOK MESSED, BUT I WAS SUPER TIRED OK!!?
GEEZ.
I look horrid, and check the kinky twists, i look like a lion!!

yeah.


thanks dasia for helping me with my decision, if only you were there while i was purchasing it. -sigh-
This was a test, its really boring...dont watch it. haha
<33
-Sharz.

* Mood: crazy tired.
* Listening to: Let It Bleed by J*Davey
* Reading: n/a
* Eating: n/a
* Drinking: water


__________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________
ON MY MIND @ zee MOMENT (besides: i look like a lioness)
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


Okay...

Exams are done!
I survived, and did really good on most of them...so im pretty sure i haven't failed anything.im eager to see my history mark, i was going into that exam with a 42%..thanks to my EXTREME procrastination.

Gah.
I need to learn how to manage my time.

Anyway.
Guess what I did today....

I got Kinky Twists...but they cost me 138.88!!
I was like "Bloodclot!!", on top of that the twists were poorly done!
One fell out when i got to my dad's house...
And she put WAY too much hair in it....i look like a lion.
I like it when its up, but im still trying to rock it in a fresh way.

For now it'll stay up...

So pissed off, moreover i still havent paid the 38.88
i just paid the 100, so i have to stroll down there tomorrow and give them basically 40 dollars for a SHITTY job.
My dad said i look like a conscious dred. Lol.


Okay, i have a dillema, and i need to make a decision:

iPod or Camera?

See i loooove music, and ever since i lost my iPod i've been dead.
but i want a camera...
and i don't have a job anymore...
so i need to make a good conscious purchase.

So
Camera or iPod.

meh, i have until sunday to make a decision, if i dont..i'll end up spending my money on food and clothes.

i'll make a poll....haha.

Okay, i'm tired...i was in the salon from 11:00am to 5:45pm.
RIDONKULOUS!

<33
-Sharz.

Brief recap of my mid-day.

i leave school after exams..
i see my friend across the street and i wave at her..
this old man comes out of nowhere and says : "DONT WAVE YOUR FUCKING HAND IN MY FACE!!"
and he shoves me out of his way.

I 'm like "what the hell man!?!? Dont have to fricken' push me!!"

and he is calling me names like "whore", "nigger bitch", "motherfucking slut"
And im like..."uh...okay..whatever man...your crazy."
and i cross the street and i he's still yelling and following me, so i brush him off and wait for my friend to cross the street.

So now he's in my face and he's like "Oh what are you going to do, call your boyfriend on me..fucking bitch."
and im like "get the hell out of my fucking face..asshole"
and he's in my face. So i pretend like im going to hit him in the face with my keys, and he flinched then SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.

So im like "yo, what the fuck you ass!!"
and i pretend like im going to chase him, and he ran away..

so i am walking with my friend to the next subway station and he is following us yelling "YOU FUCKIN NIGGER WHORE!"

And im like..."oh my god...seriously?"

so i call the cops.

The cops ask for a description, location, and tell me to wait at 7-11.
they ask me "how far away is he?"
i say :"a few metres"

So my friend and i go to 7-11 and we're in there, and he comes into 7-11 and just watches me...
walks out...
looks at me through the window and pretends to shoot me.

So i call the cops again, cause im straight shitting my damn pants.

So the officer finally makes it and asks for a description again, then gets a walkie message telling her they found a suspect.

So she asks my friend and I to get in the cop car.

IT IS VERY TIGHT IN THERE.

So we get to the subway station and he's there being questioned by the cops.
The other two officers are there (i swear there were like five cop cars surrounding the area, like they were all not busy, and just wanted to see whats up)
and they come to my officer lady and tell her some shit.

So she comes to me and says : "turns out he has a mental problem, so uh...do you want to press charges?"
I say: "no...he's mentally unstable so...i won't do that..i was just really scared"
she understood.

Then me and my friend were on our way to our business, while they took him to the hospital.


Back to studying...2 MORE EXAMS TO GO!
Its been going great so far...

-sharz!
<33

visit: http://blogs.warwick.ac.uk/mwalker/daily/270405/ for a funny ass anatomy on heartbreak.

* Mood: crazy STRESSED
* Listening to: N/A
* Reading: History (vikings)
* Eating: Ackee and Saltfish
* Drinking: Oasis Strawberry and Kiwi juice or something.


__________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________
ON MY MIND @ zee MOMENT (besides: OMG CANNOT WAIT FOR SECOND SEMESTER!)
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________



Ok peeps. Exams are next week, and i am taking this time to remind you that i am still working my butt off, to hand everything in by friday afternoon. Very. Very. Stressing. But im almost there, my classmate and i have made a deal that she can copy my chapter 15 while i copy her chapter 16 questions..i never copy..but this is a desperate time for me. So don't JUDGE ME!!

Anyway. It was a pretty good day out today, so after school, and after going to the bank, i stopped by this store and bought me a bulk of Olive Oil Root Stimulating products, at some hairdressing place that i didn't even know exsisted near my house. The lady said she'd be happy to do my BC when i was ready, and her salon is sooo awesome.
Like homey awesome.
Not too professional and FANCY DANCY, but not too like "what the hell did i just walk into?" ish.
I bought: Olive Oil Aloe Shampoo.
Olive Oil- Oil Sheen
& Olive Oil Replenishing Conditioner.

By the way... I told my step-mother, who were one of the people who kept telling me how relaxing my hair was the worst thing ever, but then went and permed my little sister's hair... That i was thinking about going natural, she didn't say much..she looked angry though... it puzzled me. Oh well..whatevers.

Im so tense from exams and the stress. If all else fails Im going to Night-school for Bio, to make up for History, and Summer school incase i fail English. Caue my english teacher is the WORST...each generation had said this, so trust me, it isn't just me being a whiny baby. See you all in about seven days. haha. Maybe sooner if anything new goes on, then i'll update you on how the Olive Oil is working on me...i may be able to chop in March afterall!
S'LATERZ<333
-Sharz

* Mood: crazy tired & ticked
* Listening to: n/a
* Reading: Math (Sinusoidal Equations)
* Eating: n/a
* Drinking: water


__________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________
ON MY MIND @ zee MOMENT (besides: wtf?!)
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

First things first:

I am a VIRGIN.
I never had any type of sex in my life...
I am a grounded person.
I am a cynical person at times.
I am very sarcastic.
I dress to cover my body.
I am not loud when it isn't nessesary.
I do swear.
I am trying to stop...
I do not change myself for guys at all...cause i do not give a damn what they want from me, i do not owe them shit.

SO WHY... may i ask...DOES THIS GUY....and a few others....THINK I AM A SEX FREAK?

What the F-U-C-efiing-K!?
I went to a dance, and this dude was dancing with me...and asked my friend my name then added me on Facebook.
Whatever...

Long story short, we start talking on Msn, and after a long 15 minutes of silence(or, no typing)
He says:
K. are u a virgin? yes or no.

I was like...
what zee hell?...
so i said:
I am...why? does it seem like im not?

He says:
Yeah...thats one of the reasons why i started talking to you...

What the eff?
I know you all don't see many photos of my on here, but i can assure you, if you met me, i am the most virginal looking girl, clothing wise anyway.
Vocab wise, i need to quit swearing...
But he never heard me swear that evening so...
WTF?

It really pissed me off.
I do not understand why some guys think im some sex fiend.
Always asking me about my virginity....
Like wtf.

My friend said my personality is of someone who has got laid.
I said how?
She said, "I think people who talk relaxed like you may be more prone to get questions about their virginity..."
whatever.
those guys need to back up.
I stopped talking to him.
And i said: I am sorry to disappoint you...but im trying to save myself for someone i didn't meet at a dance and start talking to for 2 or 3 weeks...


GAHHHH...
Pissing.
Me.
Off.

S'laters
<3
-Sharz

* Mood: crazy excited
* Listening to: Down On My Knees by Ayo
* Reading: Math (Sinusoidal Equations)
* Eating: n/a
* Drinking: water


__________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________
ON MY MIND @ zee MOMENT (besides: AMERICA'S BEST DANCE CREW YALL!!)
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

OKAY.

So, I’ve been thinking about my Big Chop.
I’m going to try and get my hair to mega-grow for March 22, but if doesn’t, I’ll try April 22 instead. Don’t ask why I keep choosing the 22nd, it just seems like a good time to do it. 22 seems like a good number. I have been searching for new growth and I’ve found more than enough in the centre, but the front isn’t growing quick enough, and neither is the back, nearest to by neck. Its starting to bother me…
So this is why im thinking I’ll hold off February, and maybe even March. On top of that, the two textures are behaving a bit more now… its weird. These relaxed ends are insanely bi-polar right about now.
I am extremely anxious for my BC. No one seems to understand what I mean, when I say im cutting it.
My best friend doesn’t want me to cut it, I finally told her. I just didn’t tell her when. I tied to break it down, and explain the chemicals, my burned scalp, EVERYTHING! She still said, “No, don’t cut it, I thought you wanted it to grow..”

Gesu Christ e Maria!

I am done explaining. Im just going to do it, and whoever wants to hate, can go ahead and hate.

Geez.

I think I found a natural hair salon by my mother’s place, so I’m planning to look deeper into it next weekend, or weekend after next, since I’ll be busy studying for my exams…

So, yeahs.

Moving along.

So, i haven't been watching much television lately but i hear OBAMA is doing that whole coming to the white house thing soon, i think its today, or tomorrow....i'm not sure, i forgot. I may go check on the internet to see the times on my end to watch that. My aunt is lucky, she actually just moved to washington DC, she's a journalist, so maybe she'll get to see it first hand or something. I hope so, cause i'll be asking her. Haha.
Apparently he's coming up to Canada soon to discuss things, i heard on the news...
I don't know when thats going to be, but i do know me and my firends are going to attempt to stalk him. Well, she's going to, while I just make sure we don't get arrested.

She's inlove with him.

She likes older men, she even thinks my dad is attractive.

-sigh-

ANYWAYS...
The great news just keeps coming, a new season of AMERICA'S BEST DANCE CREW is airing today in Canada, america already has it....i think. And now that I figured out that we are the last ones to get shit, im pissed, cause it takes all the fun out of me thinking its Live or my call or onlne vote counts.

Damnit.

But its on tonight at 7pm so i am excited to see whats next this time around. First was jabbawokees, then supercrew so...now im pooping bricks to see if they have anything else exciting. I hope they don't turn into American Idol, and just end up not being all that. I heard there's a new host, and when i saw the promos i was like..she doesn't look interesting at all.

I found two new natural artists...
Nneka and Ayo.
Ayo:
AYO is a German born artist, the offspring of a Nigerian father who had come to Germany to study in the 1970s, and sometimes worked as a DJ, and a mother who is a gypsy. AYOs rather unusual name means joy in Yoruba. Her rich cultural background is also reflected in her musical influences. She grew up amidst Pink Floyd and Fela Kuti, the Soul Children and Bob Marley, and many others. (http://www.myspace.com/ayo)
Nneka:
Born in Nigeria, Nneka relocated some 10,000 miles to Hamburg, Germany, at the age of nineteen to pursue a career in singing along side a degree in Anthropology. Having landed in the German port, the singer hooked up with DJ and Hip-Hop beatmaker DJ Farhot and ever since, their strong musical relationship has been the backbone of Nneka’s success. Her influences reflect her younger days in Nigeria as well as her time in the Western world. The distance she has travels shines through in her voice as does her diverse musical influences. She cites famous compatriot Fela Kuti and legend Bob Marley as well as contemporary rappers Mos Def, Talib Kweli, Mobb Deep and Lauryn Hill as key influences in her pursuit of musical recognition.
(http://www.myspace.com/nnekaworld)



So...

Yeah. I'm going to go back to cleaning and then hopefully i can finish up some more homework and clean the house before 7pm!!

s'laters!
<3
***UPDATE***
I can always trust CNN, its on today, and im watching it as i type, the parade isn't until later though...
so. yeah. <33
[6:23pm EST]

-Sharz

* Mood: crazy in pain(oeuvres)
* Listening to: Breathless by Corinne Bailey Rae
* Reading: n/a
* Eating: n/a
* Drinking: tea.


__________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________
ON MY MIND @ zee MOMENT (besides: ...)
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


Ok peeps.

Exams are coming and first semester is coming to an end...your marks have been dropping just a bit, cause your lazy and sort of slacking off. What are you going to do to boost up your marks before exam time?

DO ALL THAT WORK AND HAND IT IN...
Thats what i do, i don't let anything get overdue, and everything that is over due i BEG and PLEAD for the to accept it. That is right.
I got it all planned out...its totally going to work...im about to start on another essay, thats due tomorrow, and then im going to study for a math test i missed and i am going to either ace it or high-B it.

YES I CAN....haha.

I better hurry and get my friend to help me with my kinky twists this weekend or something, cause she's going to Grenada soon, and i NEED help!! I tried doing it myself, and miserably.

Anyways...
My friends are going to the Lil' Wayne concert today, i was suposed to go but...i dont like him enough to spend money to see him in concert...i only like two or three songs and im done.
A milli (its addictive, dont lie)
Crank That Weezy (its so stupid, that i love it for being so .. dumb)
lollipop (addictive)

I rather see someone interesting, like kanye west, common, the roots, n.e.r.d, erykah badu....like artists like those are artists that i am willing to put down a few hours of homework for. Cause those people do not come to Canada often. Which is weird, cause Canada is like...right there.
There's America, then Canada is like right there.
Life is so unfair to Canada.
minus the obvious Pros such as health care and civil rights(gays&lesbians) and so on and so forth.

I think this is will be where my blog posts will lessen from everyday to every other day....cause of exams and such. But next semester, all i have are art courses, minus my fourth period, which is physucs, which i may switch to something else.
My schedule is as follows:

Drama (1st)
Religion Arts// video production (2nd)
Music//Intrumental(3rd)
Physics(4rth)--but i may switch to Gym, im not sure, ill see how i feel about physics



Thats all i seem to have to say right now...
BY THE WAY: 5 followers? chyeahs.

<33
-Sharz!

* Mood: crazy calm
* Listening to: MTV Live
* Reading: n/a
* Eating: n/a
* Drinking: water


__________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________
ON MY MIND @ zee MOMENT (besides: ...)
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Ok well, i have an issue.

MY FACE.

See, i do not have much acne, in fact my face is quite smooth. The only thing is the fact that i have un-noticable dark spots(scars) on the side of my face, but they are fading.

This afternoon i was in the bathroom and i noticed my pores were huge(dramatization, they were not "huge") and there were little black shit spots on my nose..that i have never seen there before!!
So im freaking out.

I thought i was growing hair on my nose, cause they were BLACK!

My friend said they were blackheads. I didn't believe her...
But then i went on google (my source when i need to know something), and it turns out they were blackheads. I read some stuff, and it said Biore Strips work, but the reviews mostly talk smack about it...so i don't really know what to use.
Im gong to check some more products but if anyone who passes by the blog knows anything about blackhead removal...please share.

im begging.
seriously....im going to shoppers drug mart tomorrow at lunch, and trying biore.(i may end up asking the person working there, but i dont want to cause then she's going to look at my nose...haha)
**UPDATE**
I was supposed to post this last night, but fell asleep, so...
indeedy, i decided to wash my face with proactiv renewing cleanser.
And most of my blackheads went away.
I've acrually had proactiv for a long time, but stopped using it, cause it was irritating my skin....but desperate times call for desperate measures. fo' realz.

Moving along...
I read, that transistioners or newly naturals, or mabe even long term naturals...
should keep near other naturals so they don't get tempted by the straight hair they see around them. If they hang around with girls sporting perms then the natural would feel all alone.

How do i feel about this comment?
IT IS WRONG.
Okay, maybe it isn't wrong...but it isn't exactly right either, at least for me. I looove being out of the ordinary, unique, and different from m friends. I have some friends sporting the long to-your-hips weave and the japanese perms, but i rather go natural and have them be cookie cutters. Now, i know that some of the guys may look at them and think im not as "sexed" or "fresh" or something....but i think i can still look pretty damn fly with natural hair...
and they can just go to the depths of he-

OKay, moving along...
For anyone who thinks that being around permed girls and seeing all the stars of today with their hair straight and perm long-down-to-the-bum or something i went reserching some photos of some more natural models and even a new siner..who is slowly becoming one of my 'Most Played" artists on iTunes....is ALGEBRA BLESSET.
She sort of reminds me of erykah badu. Especially her live preformances on youtube.

I also got some Yaya Da Costa, Esperanza Spalding, and goapele.

<3
-Sharz!

* Mood: crazy calm
* Listening to: Cause I Love You by Lenny Williams
* Reading: n/a
* Eating: pumpkin pie
* Drinking: water


__________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________
ON MY MIND @ zee MOMENT (besides: ...)
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

So...

Remember how i finished my essays and was so excited? Guess what, i woke up late for school this morning and ended up getting to school half day. CRAP!
On top of that shizz, i am rushing out of the house and i noticed my shoe was untied and decided to tie it at the bus stop.

So i get to the bus stop and bend down to tie my laces...now mind you im a university prep student, so i have some really heavy books in my backpack, so im bent over and my bag start to slide up my back, i think nothing of it, cause whatever...the worst that could happen is my bag flipping over right? No biggie.

WRONG.

I feel a heavy thing biunce of my head and thump onto the snow, then another lighter text book and a little plastice container of vasiline decide to follow suit and land into the snow, ofcourse after knocking me upside the head!
To top THAT off, there was a really cute guy at the buss stop, that looked like Trey Songs, who i see almost everyday on the bus, and we don't live far from eachother, and he is always starring at me...
BUT WONT TALK TO ME!!

He finally did today though..unfortunately.

You want to know what his smartass said?

"Your bag's open."

I was like "haha... uh yeah...."
Then he picked up the two text books and i picked up the vasiline and he helped me put them in my bag...which as nice.

-sigh- he's sooooo handsome.
-faints-

Ok, moving on...
I have a couple things to say fashion wise....
I LOVE:
Dr. Martens boots!!
Pleather handbags
High Tops (i bought some adidas high tops last week)
Tights with designs on them
Skinnys
Graphic Tees
Converse
Adidas
Solid coloured hoodies and t-shirts(i hate patterns)
Scarfs
etc....

Moving along...

I HAVE INVENTED THE BEST CONDITIONER.....POSSIBLY IN ZEE WORLD!!
Ingredients consist of:

Castor Oil
Luster's curl activator and moisturizer
My Grandma's afro hair softner (Scurl's 360 stylin afro hair softner)
Water.

Fill it in the bottle.
Shake it up.
Spray it on your hair
Massage it in
Your hair will feel like a baby's!!

okay.
s'laters!

<33
-Sharz(btw: oh em gee, four followers? fo' realz? )

* Mood: crazy SUPA-DUPA Happy & Sleepy
* Listening to: Iwe by The Noisettes (LIVE)
* Reading: n/a
* Eating: n/a
* Drinking: water


__________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________
ON MY MIND @ zee MOMENT (besides: SO HAPPY I FINISHED 2 ESSAYS THIS WEEKEND!!...)
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Tonight, the impossible has happened.
They said i couldn't do it.
The said it was impossible.
But I did it.

I kept saying "YES I CAN!"
And then...i made the impossible Possible...

I FINISHED 2 UNIVERSITY COURSE ESSAYS IN ONE WEEKENED, BOTH HAVING TO BE AT LEAST 1500 WORDS.
(Though, my second essay was only 1025 words...it had a lot of good content in there!)


"YES I CAN world, YES I CAN"

And jsut like i tackeled those two essays, im going to tackle this Transition and tackle my B.C which is in 41 or 69 days, depending on groundhog day.

We can all do this together.
YES...
WE.....
CAN!!

Woot!
OBAMA-RAMMA!!
<333

-Sharz

* Mood: crazy boored & anxious
* Listening to: Joga by Bjork
* Reading: n/a
* Eating: n/a
* Drinking: water


__________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________
ON MY MIND @ zee MOMENT (besides: so happy uncle bought food! just he forgot the milk...)
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

So, I have changed my mind about my big chop day.
For those who don't know, i was planning to BC in after about a year, because i'm afraid of the length issue, and i d not want to look like my father. So i'm changing the date to MARCH.22.2009!

Thats right folks!

I decided that 03/22/09 would be a good time to do it because:
1. the weather gets nicer
2. my hair would be at an alright length.
3. i wouldn't have to deal with the 2 texture TERROR for a year.

Gosh, i hate this 2 texture thing...like before i thought it was cute, but now its just getting RIDONKULOUS!
And there's a lot of relaxed ends too! My hair isn't very very long, its medium....but ther is A LOT of hair on this head, and its thick. So my hair relaxed was thick and tricky enough, but now imagine that thick relaxed hair mixed with THICKER NAPPY HAIR!!!

ITS TORTURE!!

I refuse to go through this bullcrap for a year! I just want to cut it now!
But the weather is too cold for short hair right now...(mind you, i hate wearing extensions..i rather just wear MY hair) i mean i live in CANADA..

Though it isn't the coldest location (thank allah!), it is COLD enough!

So anyway...

This B.C date is top secret...eventhough i just revealed it to the worldwide web, it is still very TOP SECRET!
I haven't told anyone in my family or friend circle, so ... when i do it it's going to be like BAM!
Caue they were all telling me not to cut it right away like:

"let it grow sharifa...."
"wait till prom THEN cut it"
and so on and so forth.

But they obviously are not comprehending that having 2 textures are KILLING ME right now!
Infact you shouldn't even be surprised if i change the date from March 22 to Feb 22...sometimes we get an early spring...depending on groundhog day.

Thats it then, i just thought of this:
GROUNDHOG DAY WILL BE THE DAY I DECIDE TO GO FROM MARCH 22 TO FEB 22!
If the ground hog stays out of his hole, i change to feb 22.
If he goes back into his hole i wait till March 22.

Haha, does it sound that ridiculous?
yes?

GOOD! CAUSE IT CAN'T BE AS RIDONKULOUS AS THIS 2 TEXTURE TRAVESTY!
I mean how can they say going nappy isn't cute? HAVE THE NOT SEEN WAKEEMA HOLLIS!
Probably not.
I didn't know about her until i started transitioning.
However, now she has become my inspiration..
<3
-Sharz

* Mood: crazy boored & hungry
* Listening to: Unlike Me by Kate Havenvik (addictive song!!)
* Reading: n/a
* Eating: pizza
* Drinking: water


__________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________
ON MY MIND @ zee MOMENT (besides: i need milk and bread. but too lazy to go to the grocer)
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Love is a very serious thing.
You just can't spread love around like it's butter on toast, love is an abstract concept that means a lot more than anything else on the planet. Love is...

Well, lets just go through the definition of love, you may not know this but my friends know that i LOVE thesauruses and dictionaries.

LOVE means:

1.	a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

2.	a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

3.	sexual passion or desire.

4.	a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.

5.	(used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like): Would you like to see a movie, love?

6.	a love affair; an intensely amorous incident; amour.

7.	sexual intercourse; copulation.

8.	(initial capital letter) a personification of sexual affection, as Eros or Cupid.

9.	affectionate concern for the well-being of others: the love of one's neighbor.

10.	strong predilection, enthusiasm, or liking for anything: her love of books.

11.	the object or thing so liked: The theater was her great love.

12.	the benevolent affection of God for His creatures, or the reverent affection due from them to God.

13.	Chiefly Tennis. a score of zero; nothing.

14.	a word formerly used in communications to represent the letter L.

–verb (used with object)

15.	to have love or affection for: All her pupils love her.

16.	to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for (another person).

17.	to have a strong liking for; take great pleasure in: to love music.

18.	to need or require; benefit greatly from: Plants love sunlight.

19.	to embrace and kiss (someone), as a lover.

20.	to have sexual intercourse with.

–verb (used without object)

21.	to have love or affection for another person; be in love.

—Verb phrase

22.	love up, to hug and cuddle: She loves him up every chance she gets.

—Idioms

23.	for love, a. out of affection or liking; for pleasure. b. without compensation; gratuitously: He took care of the poor for love.

24.	for the love of, in consideration of; for the sake of: For the love of mercy, stop that noise.

25.	in love, infused with or feeling deep affection or passion: a youth always in love.

26.	in love with, feeling deep affection or passion for (a person, idea, occupation, etc.); enamored of: in love with the girl next door; in love with one's work.

27.	make love, a. to embrace and kiss as lovers. b. to engage in sexual activity.

There are so many ways to describe love...and that is exactly one of the reasons why you can't just SAY it, without meaning it.


I never say love without meaning it. Love is a word i only use with certain people. However, sometimes, my nice-ness gets the best of me and i say it to people i shouldn't say it too. Like my exex-boyfriend. He said it first, then i said it cause hat's what i thought it was....but it soon turned out that it wasn't love. I loved the idea of being loved, but i didn't LOVE him.

So then we get to my ex-boyfriend, who by the way i liked for a year and he FINALLY told me he liked me then i broke up with that exex-boyfriend for him, and he was the DREAM guy.
Black, intelligent, focused, funny,president of student council, handsome, charismatic...
everyone said we were perfect for eachother.
I thought so too.

We started dating and i felt like...as corny as it is, i felt like i could possibly spend my life with him.

But the downfall was, he had Groupies.
The groupies were so jealous, they started telling him things about me...things like "she doesn't deserve you", "she's not proper " , "what do you see in her?"

And like an idiot, he listened to them, they're all two-years younger than us by the way...damn kids.
He dumped me.
He said he didn't have enough time for me and felt like he was wasting mine.
I tried telling him, the whole "no tme to go out" thing was okay...
But he didn't seem to want to try.

So he dumped me.

Then shit happened after that, i'll save it for another post....cause there is no TIME for me to fully get into that.

I hate saying it, but i loved him...
it sucks to cause i thought he loved me..we were sooo perfect. He was the one who said it first...always talking about our future...like even after university.

-sigh-

Love is complex...
Its when you experience utter heartbreak, when you really get confused.

I heard he isn't the same anymore, and he's lost some friends, he also lost me as a friend...

Oh well.
Love is something else.

NOW:
my exex-boyfriend keeps calling me and wanting to spend time with me...and im just like "OH MY GAWD!! PLEASE STOP, IM NOT GOING TO GET BACK WITH YOU!"

I don't say thins ofcourse, but i WANT TO!!

Jebus chrizzle!
i need : ice-cream, old movies, burt bees, and pumpkin pie.
I got everything but burt bees so far....

<3>

* Mood: crazy boored & hungry
* Listening to: Lil Big Heads by J*Davey
* Reading: n/a
* Eating: N/A
* Drinking: water


__________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________
ON MY MIND @ zee MOMENT (besides: i need milk and bread. but too lazy to go to the grocer)
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

So...

I figured that compared to other blogs i read, my blog is so n00b looking, you know?
So i went and fixed it! RENOVATION! How do you like it? nice and clean looking. Brightens up the place a bit.

okay so, moving along then...

I realized that i didn't really speak to much about my new growth in the previous post, so now I'm doing it. Yesterday the new growth was thick and nice, but i deep conditioned/pre-pooed it last night and woke up this morning to some REALLY SOFT, DEFINED, LONG AND LUSCIOUS new growth! It was so great, i couldn't help but be EXTREMELY HAPPY about it!

I used the honey conditioner without eggs cause, well i had no eggs.
So instead of eggs i used Creme Of Nature conditioning shampoo...cause it works just as god as eggs to me. I don't care what people say, i think Creme of Nature is Harmless. But I will invest in Burt Bees sometime tomorrow.
So that is:
1 tsp of Honey
2 tbsp of CASTOR OIL- i used castor oil because i didn't want to open the brand new olive oil my grandma bought.
about 4 tbsp of CON shampoo.

This kind of worked like a pre-poo and deep conditioning treatment..
It worked for me..

My new growth loved it..

Thats all I had to say.
I think i may try and finish up some more work i have and then eat.
Oh by the way... one follower!
You are probably like "okay. so?"
But i'm like "woot! even if they are just trying to be nice..thanks!" haha.

<3 sharz ="">

* Mood: crazy boored
* Listening to: Walking On A Dream by Empire Of The Sun
* Reading: True Believer
* Eating: N/A
* Drinking: kool aid jammers


__________________________ __________________________________
ON MY MIND @ zee MOMENT (Dont mind the white people...only one of then are my friend.the one with darker hair..lol)
____________________________________________________________

The photo above is me on New Years Day ... early early in the morning, maybe at 1 something in the morning?
Yeah.
Never drinking again peoples.


I feel way better now though, i actually didn't have to puke forcefully, it didn't even end up happening. What i did was drink some sulfur bitters, as a way to clean out my system. I cannot believe it actually worked.
So i dug deep into my files and found some photos that i have here, that was ent to me from my friends, cause a long long time ago my beautiful Canon got stolen...i cried...it was horrible.

I thought i would put them up.. The photo above was a faux-hawk though, in case i didn't already say that.. i tend to repeat myself sometimes.
I need to stop that..it bores people.
when i find all of them i'll ad them to one folder so that its easy to upload..i like the easy routes.

Anyways:
its pretty easy to do, the faux hawk i mean. But in case people were wondering here is a step by step thingy:
THERE ARE TWO WAYS TO DO THIS...THIS IS NUMBER ONE

1) Wash Hair- This way when you do your bantu braids or chiny bumps its sort of easier to manage.
2) Part hair into workable sections
3) I take this time to oil my scalp with Triple Grow dry scalp treatment (its really god, and it actually works! no word of a lie!)
4) Start the chiny bimps. I like to make the center ones more smaller and defined than the others
5) I like to oil my scalp again between the bumps.
6) Wrap it up and go to bed.
7) Wake up and brush your teeth and put on your clothes first, cause i don't like when i try to pull a shirt over my head gently but still end up screwing up my hair...
8) Take out the bumps and the curls shall appear
9) Comb and brush up the sides however high you like.
10) Set the clips and pins to keep the hair in palce, you may need ALOT.
11) Spray it with sheen and hairpray.
DONE! =]

THIS ONE IS THE SECOND WAY TO GO ABOUT THE FAUX-HAWK...


1) Wash your hair.- so that its clean
2) Dry it and Oil your scalp.
4) Apply LEAVE IN CONDITIONER...
5) Brush/Comb through with a blow-dryer- this wait it gets straight-ish (not this is for transistioners...cause i am not completely natural yet..i should have mentioned that earlier eh?)
6) Relax for a minute
7) Start the bumpin' just like #4 in Part One.
8) Oil in between the bumps
9) WRAP IT UP and go to bed.
10) Wake up and blah blah..
11) Now if you used really nice slickin' conditioner when you take out your bumps they should sort of hang lose and freely and look really nice and smooth. Retro to da max, like the oldest sister from the cosby show. lol.
12) Sheen it....and hairspray is optional. I don't hairspray this one too much, cause i like when it looks nice and soft, not hard like a stone.

Bloobs.
S'laterz!

- Sharz
=]

i think i may just work at adidas for the summer..haha.
I LOOVE adidas, im like missy eliott when it comes to adidas..i just love the brand.

check out all thier ORIGINALS, that i have recently taken a big investment in, and will invest more of this weekend...

short and sweet, i know...

10. It grows in that way. If your creator meant for you to have straight hair it would be straight.

9. You can do fun and versatile things with black hair. Unlike straight hair, black hair (naturally kinky) can stand straight up, can be braided into complex designs, can be temporarily straightened without chemicals, and worn in its natural state again the next day.

8. It is in style. Natural black hair is more and more acceptable every day. It is just another fashion choice; therefore, there is really no reason to go through great pains to change it.

7. Straightening chemicals are dangerous. If not applied correctly, it can cause burns, hair damage, and temporary to permanent hair loss.

6. Hair chemicals are really, dangerous. The food and drug administration says, “Hair relaxers and hair dyes are among its top consumer complaint areas. Complaints range from hair breakage to symptoms warranting an emergency room visit”. Also” In February 1994, FDA and the American Cancer Society released an epidemiologic study involving 573,000 women. Researchers found that women who had never used permanent hair dyes showed decreased risk of all fatal cancers combined and of urinary system cancers.

5. You never know when it might go wrong. Just like food, allergies show up over time, so do hair chemical allergies. What worked fine two years ago, might cause a bald spot in two years.

4. If it went wrong before, it will very likely happen again. If you had a bad reaction to a perm, do not do it again. Nine times out of 10, the chemicals are just as much to blame as the stylist.

3. Pride: Your hair is an identifying symbol of your race. If you are proud of your race, you should also be proud of your hair.
2. The work place cannot discriminate against your hair. There was a time when wearing an Afro, dreadlocks or braids, your job could say you were going against the dress code. This is illegal. DO NOT TOLERATE THAT SHIIIZZ

1. Time savings: Over time, you will learn to shower, wash your hair and get dressed just like people with straight hair. It is just a matter of time until you find a natural STYLE that works well for you.

* Mood: crazy dead, bored...nauseated
* Listening to: n/a
* Reading: n/a
* Eating: n/a.
* Drinking: tea.


_______________________________________________________________________________
ON MY MIND @ zee MOMENT(besides "Wow, im so dead...")
_____________________________

Remind me to never get as drunk as i did on the 31st ever AGAIN.
I officially hate alcohol..

OMG.
I keep needing to puke and not puking. I think i may have to do it forcefully if it doesnt let up in an hour.

ANYWAYS...
i am am in the bathroom as i type, just in case i feel the need to puke in the middle of writing this post. I know, this is very bad, and may make me lok like a crazy drinker but TRUST ME, this has never happened to me before. This is the first time I've been so sick from drinking.
Anyways...

This post is basically me just putting out more information on how my hair is doing.
Now I don't know if anyone is realy reading this cause i don't have followers yet, but I just thought i'd keep the people who skim past this, in check with my TRANSITIONING situation.

So it has ben about a month and there isn't that much new growth yet, like there isn't even an inch there so I'm getting scared. But maybe my hair just doesn't grow quick enough and I need to calm down.
Another thing, My ends, which are supposedly relaxed are kind of not being relaxed, and i know i have to cut them, but maybe I won't have to cut them as soon as i thought. I may not even have to try blening them in with the natural hair, cause they look similar at the moment.

Well from the litle insy winsy bit i can see.

I am hoping to transistion for a year before chopping. Though i don't know if chopping is necessary, cause when i was a child, my mom stopped perming my hair for a bit and was braiding it and shizz, and I do not remember anyone cutting my hair during this period of my life.

But i could be wrong...

Anyways.
On to this BLOG.
In the Shari.EBELLE Emancipated blog, i will post pictures of my hair and hair styles and how im doing with my hair and what products im using. But /i cannot do that until I get my camera.
So until then you are going to have to deal with these picture-less blogs.

Now I don't know what my issue is nowadays...

I'm getting really ROOTSy lately. Im all up in REAL hip-hop, all up in my ethnicity and being a black woman, really empowering myself and Liberating myself not being stuck behind the bars of the mainstream black women and just being me, as always, but to a fuller extent.

That was one of the reasons why i made this blog. This is mostly about me realizing that I am ME.
But the only way to be ME is to LOVE me.

And the only way to LOVE me is to be NATURALLY and AUTHENTICALLY me.

I have had a long dicussion with myself about this....and there is no other way.
This has to happen, it is Up and Running. SHARIFA'S EMANCIPATION is IN MOTION.

My Life's EMANCIPATION is in motion.
The world is changing.
And I'm changing with it.
CHanging from a molded sculpture that someone else would like me to be, to being the magnificient peice of ART that I can create ON
MY OWN.

-exhales-

Yeah sorry about that.
Sometimes i have these weird bursts of self-replenishment and I need to let it al out.

-Sharz. // shariEBELLE