ouijevis //

me and my best friend Laila doing some "contemporary dance"
Haha...we're silly.

A friend saw us from the third floor window and decided to record us, then edit it, and post it on facebook. Haha...ahh...-embarrassed-

Also, here are ZEE photos!

I was EXTRA tired, so....the photos are a bit rough, but whateves, you get it.

I DID IT!!

Most of my black friends didn't like it, however they didn't even notice it...which surprised me.
I tried a wash and go, and i think i need a better gel, since this gll left my hair feeling SO dry. Anyways, no one said anything bad, four of my friends thought it was cute, however some people didn't like it.Oh well. I love it!!!I am so much happier, lighter, and WAY MORE ENERGETIC.
I was like, skipping in the hall and jumping on my friends and stuff.
Nothing bothers me.
Nothing agytated me.
Everything was just a breeze.

It was like being on Morphine.

Wow.

I was way too lazy when I got home to bother even taking photos of myself, but I will when I get home tonight from night school. I can't wait for it to grow, I was surprised by the length anyway though...they were all surprised. The lady said "woah, you're hair is thick, and there is SO much! You'd be a WICKED dredlock!"

I don't know what exactly that means but, whateves.

I didn't even care what people on the street thought about my hair, i mean, i was wearing a hat, but you could still see the front of my hair. There was a dude, who also follows my youtube vids, and he already knew i was doing it. He's the type of person who you don't know if he's serious or he's sarcatic. I'm one of those people too, but at least i tell you later wether i was joking or not. Anyway, so he kept making a BIG deal and telling me to take off my hat, making it look like i didn't like it and blah blah blah, and acting like the whole BC thing was something meaningles. I mean, I know it is just hair but STILL...I have never had short hort hair before. So it was a serious thing. Whatever, i just ignored him, honestly...i don't have the time to explain why and how it is SO extremely important. A lot of people asked me why, and i just said "long story, if you really really want to know, search why relaxer isn't healthy(or damages black hair) for black hair". Geeezzzzus!

Anywho...
THESE ARE THE PHOTOS OF THE BIG CHOP!!!
...

Well actually they're coming...

just later on tonight when i take these photos.

Haha.

S'later!
<333
-Sharz

Ok.

It's happening today, I have to keepgiving myself pep-talk though.
Like, I don't know. I'm pretty apathetic about it though...like i want to cut it, and I really don't care what most people think, but at the same time I do care cause...well. I don't even know why I care. I have looked for some BIG CHOP videos, and I was applying for jobs yesterday, andi thought..."I hope that whole natural hair vs. the workforce isn't so true." I mean, i'm not going to go relaxing my hair now, it's just...
I don't know, I'm scared about life, since I know it will change after i do this.

I was thinking about all the worst case scenarios...
My Friends won't like it.
No Guys will like it.
I'll look like my father.
It'll make my face look fat.
I'll look like my grandma...especially when I put on my glasses

However, i was remembering what I talked about one Monday in February.
http://shariebelleemancipation.blogspot.com/2009/02/monday-monday-monday-morning-and.html

This is part of my own EMANCIPATION.
I wanted to be free of the crazy shit that is perm.

I am so going to be late for school, however...I am doing my big chop today, and i am not turning back. Thirty dollars.

ITS NOT ABOUT THEM.
ITS ABOUT ME.

I AM SO TIRED!

...

Ok. this was pointless. Basically, I'm dying from nervousness...
But im going to remember what I said in January. Yes. January as well.
----

In the Shari.EBELLE Emancipated blog, i will post pictures of my hair and hair styles and how im doing with my hair and what products im using. But /i cannot do that until I get my camera.
So until then you are going to have to deal with these picture-less blogs.

Now I don't know what my issue is nowadays...

I'm getting really ROOTSy lately. Im all up in REAL hip-hop, all up in my ethnicity and being a black woman, really empowering myself and Liberating myself not being stuck behind the bars of the mainstream black women and just being me, as always, but to a fuller extent.

That was one of the reasons why i made this blog. This is mostly about me realizing that I am ME.
But the only way to be ME is to LOVE me.

And the only way to LOVE me is to be NATURALLY and AUTHENTICALLY me.

I have had a long dicussion with myself about this....and there is no other way.
This has to happen, it is Up and Running. SHARIFA'S EMANCIPATION is IN MOTION.

My Life's EMANCIPATION is in motion.
The world is changing.
And I'm changing with it.
Changing from a molded sculpture that someone else would like me to be, to being the magnificent piece of ART that I can create ON
MY OWN.

-exhales-

Yeah sorry about that.
Sometimes i have these weird bursts of self-replenishment and I need to let it all out.
I don't care if people don't like it, because it's nappy, and not bone striahgt like everyone else.

I mean, they should know, im never going to do what other people do. i am just like that...

So in as a concluding statement:

Im Still Fly freestyle - Drake

I'm still fly.

S'later.
<33
-Sharz

I really have always loved the SMOKEY EYE look.


(in case the link doesnt work: SMOKEY EYE DIY

Although, I don't wear make-up,( unless its a bit of mascara on days when I feel I need an ego-boost, which is rare..haha.) I have been gaining an interest in make-up a lot more lately...I don't know why....


I also wish I had MAD SKILLSZSZ and talent to make my own clothes...
Like Chanel, from junkprints: http://www.flickr.com/photos/junkprints/
check out her blog, which is awesome http://www.dookyblog.com/
Did I mention shes natural, in fact she has LOCS.
I love he works and wish I could be THAT GOOD. I just alter my clothing, but I cant actually CREATE something. =[

I also found some WICKED inspiration today...on essence magazine's site:
http://photos.essence.com/galleries/hair_repair_from_relaxed_to_natural
There is some CRAZY inspiration there, besides she is rocking a 4b or 4c looking TWA, which is hell of a lot of inspiration for me. Also, there is some really good information on how to care and treat natural hair, that I didn't know about.
For example did you know, conditioner actually isn't too great for our hair, and instead we should use essential oils. Check that link out, for reals.

s'laters!
<33
-Sharz.

So. I finally FULLY explained to my grandmother what exactly I'm doing to my hair. First thing this morning she enters my room and says. "When are you going to get your hair done?", meaning relaxed, and I roll my eyes, since I am QUITE annoyed at this very moment, and say, "Grandma, Im not going to go perm my hair anymore...I told you already Im cutting it off." .
"You think you live by yourself?!"
"What?"
She sits at the edge of my bed, in order to get a better look at me, so she can give me a proper 'What-the-bumbo-rassclot' look.
"Grandma..." I attempt to reassure her, "I'm not going to go bald or anything, Im just cutting off the permed ends."
She looks worried.
"Oh. So did you tell you're father?"
"Yes I did Grandma."
"What did he say?"
"He said 'good'." Pause. "I told my mom too, and she's alright with it. She told me to shape it."
My Grandma shuffled around in her spot, but I couldn't see her, since by this time I covered my face with my Green blanket in order to block my eyes from the light. Heyzeus meng. It's too early to go into this. "Alright. Fine. Its not me, its your parents who should know.."
Yeah. Right. So if I just went and did my Big Chop without her knowing, it would be okay?
NOPE. She'd get even MORE pissed off, so I don't know why she gave me that B.S.

Well, she's all good. I told her its on Tuesday, I gave her the card so she knows the location.

ANYWAY...
I'm just here looking for photos...

If anyone can...
please help me find some photos of haircuts, cause I need to show them a photo...so that they understand what I'm saying...
=[
S'later!
-Sharz

I did it.






well, not exactly.


See what I did was to give a bit more preparation for what I was meant to do, but couldn't do at that very moment.

Thirty Dollars isn't bad for a cut.



I MADE THE APPOINTMENT.


If you go to : strictlyroots.ca you'll see where I'm going to go get it done. Its a 10 minute walk away from my mom's house, so ... i thought I would ch-ch-ch-ch-check it out.
The people were nice, not EXTREMELY FRIENDLY though, I could tell they were all conscious dreds...everyone in there had dreds. I felt....out of place. haha. But My appointment is 07.04.09.

Yeah.

I don't know what I was thinking...but I can't jump out of it now....

The gay dude, who was REALLY GAY but not girly, just with attitude, was like "oh...since December? You're hair's going to be really short..." I said : "I don't really care, it's okay...really."
Thev owner, or assistant manager (cause she seemed as if she owned the place) smiled at me, and was like "Alright."
So they have my name.
Number.
And I have thier card.

Its goin's down.

I'm sort of nervous...

But most people say I look good with low hair.

I'm still scared though.




-sigh-

I'm going to go to school soon, just had to get that off my chest.
S'laters!
<33
-Sharz

The dude actually talked to me, in a friendly manner, so I think I'll just out the whole thing behind me now....and if he wants to talk about it , then sure. But until then....its under the soil. Everyone loved my "semi-haircut", and a lot of people thought it was my natural hair....a lot of black girls at my school, one in particular came up to me after school and said:
"Wow, sharifa's bringing it back in a weird new way...i really like it!"
"thanks..." I'm very awkward with compliments.
"Its so good that you can be comfy with your hair like that, I wish I could do that but...no I could never!"
I felt the need to go through this whole lecture with her, but instead I smiled since I was way too tired to get into it. However, I'll catch her on Monday and we'll have a good talk about why Natural Hair ROCKS.

Also, a lot of dudes at school LOVE it. One guy (he's spanish but likes to think he can pull off for a black dude, and he kind of can....a lightskinned one.) said:
"Wow, sharifa your hair is SO wicked! Is it all natural?"
"Not exactly, no..."
Then he asked my school mate, who perms her hair all the time, and pin straghtens it...
"Why don't you do that?"
"Nigga-naps!? Haha, oh no. I can't do it. Want me to look MAD!?!"
"You don't have to call them that. Why can't you just say Naps? I like Sharifa's. Can i feel?"
I let him feel the roots, since that was where all the reall naps were, they are thick by the way...
"Wow, thats so cool. Why do black girls want straight hair, and white girls want curly hair....everyone should just stick thier own thing. I love black peoples hair...i wish i could get mine to cornrow and shit. That would be a dream...."
Then we had a long discussion about wether or not his hair can get braided...
This was on Monday.

Even my teachers liked it, and the secretary, vice-principal.
The list goes on.
So I guess, I'm not completely scared about my natural haor getting accepted...I was scared about my shortness. However, i had a discussion with my step-moom, who cornrowd my hair last night...
"You shouldn;t worry, just cut it all off. You have a nice round hed, so it'll look really good. And yoiu think your hair grows slow, but it is fast growing. If you stop relaxing, which you have, then you should see that."
And I kind of have. My hair is already THICK LIKE A MOFO and hard to FINGER-COMB through. Not because of tangles, because of THICKNESS.
Like, oh em gee. It is really "bad". I haven't been told I have GOOD hair, in a sense of easy-to-manageness. However, I was always told i had great hair cause of the strength and thickness, even when my hair was permed. Ladies were always like:
"Oh, you have beautiful hair child..."
and I would get all quiet and shy but still say "thank you."

My little sister wants to transistion too!
She is cornrowing her hair until the permed ends fall out.
I have a video, that I will post later, of her and her thoughts on hair. She's only 10! I am sooo proud, I have been a role model! I feel like some sort of activist. Haha!

I was also looking at some BIG CHOP vids on Youtube, and I decided I'll post those up later as well. Im at my Dad's house right now though, which so happens to be across the street from my house (Haha, I find it so funny) and I should be back home in an hour, after he comes home from work.

So you'll see everything later!
S'later!
-Sharz <33
(p.s sorry about the spelling mistakes, im sick, tired and hungry)

GOODBYE T.DOT!

I am off to Ottawa tomorrow afternoon, and I have not packed, and I do no know how to get the the train station.

-sigh-

I should really get to packing now. My train leaves at 12:10pm. However the train as WiFi connection, so I can document my trip. Too bad Ottawa is BORING.

Honestly like: B-O-R-I-N-GEEE

I was chosen by some teachers (along with another kid, and my exboyfriend) to go, for some youth leaders stuff. Just meeting other student across the country and chill / tour.
My week is thankfully the week of Journalism and Communication.
Since, believe it or not (you may not realize it through my crappy typing) I want to go into the Journalism field.

I'll take pictures and shiz, it'll be like YOU are there with me.
=]

Anywhozzles.
I havent replied to the dude yet, Im going to confront him about this FACE TO FACE.
MAN TO MAN.
errm.
MAN TO WOMAN...
We are BOTH mature individuals, though he may be a little more mature than me at times...but I am more mature than him sometimes too...

whatever. its goins down.

BIG CHOP has been switched from the 23rd to the 19th.
OMG DUUUDES!!!
I am so losing my mind right about know...

I Want You - Fefe Dobson
FEFE DOBSON SHALL MAKE A COMEBACK...
I haven't heard it yet either, this is my first time.

Ok. I'm going to pack...
<333
-Sharz

As you may or may not know, i have had some thing sto say to a certain someone and haven't said it.
So this afternoon, while in the library, I wrote him a message, because apparently he thinks i am going around telling people a bunch of shit. Which I am not.
Since he's in Ottawa right now...I decided to send him this message on facebook to read when he gets back:

Hey.

While you were gone, I heard (from a source that will remain unnamed) that you thought (or were definite) that I was the one who told Ms Lomas about the thingy.

I didn’t, and it makes me feel pretty cruddy to have you think that way. The person who told me wanted to confront you about it alone, having me not need to talk to you myself. However, I have decided that I’d prefer to tell you myself, because getting others involved only creates more confusion...as you already know.

So here is my theory on How Ms. Lomas found out:

Before I begin, I want to make it known to you (even though, you probably don’t even care) that I don’t ‘hate’ you. I understand how that could lead you to believe that I told Ms Lomas not to get you. However, I wouldn’t go and tell Ms Lomas some stuff that would stop you from joining us in the trip to Ottawa, even if I did ‘hate’ you, I wouldn’t do such a terrible thing. In fact, believe it or not, I was the one who suggested she go get you.

Shocked? I know. Turns out, I am not as big of a Bitch as you would like to believe I am. Sorry to disappoint you Devaun.

So yeah, I will admit, I DID tell 2 teachers, 1 Guidance and 1 CYW.

How did this happen?

Ms. Sarellas because, during the time we were together, I asked her something that was really bothering me, and I couldn’t quite tell anyone else, because. Well I don’t really know. But whatever, she brought in Ms. Murphy to see her opinion on it, and I allowed it cause, I wanted to know her opinion as well. Anyway, so after we weren’t together anymore she approached me and asked “How are things with you and ...” and I answered the obvious answer. And YES I may have elaborated. But I trusted her with that information.

Ms. Murphy because, one day I was really ticked off about something, and I couldn’t find Ms. Sarellas, so I went to Murphy. If I didn’t talk about this with someone WAY more mature than my friends(especially laila..), I would surely have ended up beating a certain person up. Not you, but it had to do with you . So she gave me a bit a guidance there, and let me vent off to her and I was a tad more calm. Even though i almost threw a chair at Christina’s boyfriend that same day.

.... long story.

My CYW because, she’s my CYW. I am allowed to tell her these things right? Yeah, so I obviously vented to her about a lot of things.

Ms. Orsini. This was the most recent,(all the other ones were like before holidays) I actually had this conversation with her a week before Student Council took over announcements.

She saw me and asked me to come see her a little after third period. So I go see her and she is asking me if it would be okay to have a Male voice on the Announcements, basically suggesting I FIRE Laila. So i say “Sure no problem, It really doesn’t matter.”
“What about Devaun? I know you two are close friends, and you could discuss it with him, and he’d love to join you right?”
“Uh. I guess, but me and him don’t really speak anymore, but I will still run it by him, he’s in my fourth period class so...”
“oh, right. You two used to date ... well I don’t want to put you in that situation and make it uncomfortable for you.”
“Oh, no it’s okay. I’m sure it’s not much of an issue...I can deal with it.”
“No. No. We will have to think of someone else....hm. “
The rest of the conversation is not about you so...moving on.

So I think Ms Lomas found out through Ms Orsini. Ms Sarellas said she found out through Gr. 9s. Ms Murphy said “Oh really?! I didn’t know...” but I had a feeling she knew. Ms. Orsini, already knew as well...and I don’t know how, probably word of mouth as well. Ms. Lomas is out of the loop, so i am sure someone had to inform her.

-sigh-

So there is my theory.

I’m sorry if you thought I was an asshole and told Ms Lomas to avoid going to you or something, cause I really didn’t. I am not like that at all. I thought you, out of all people, would know that, but I guess I was wrong. You really don’t know me AT ALL.

P.S

I don't Hate you. I don't bad mouth you & try to tarnish your image.
I’ve heard that you think I do. Which I don’t, by the way...

I'm not talking to you because, as much as I don't even want to have to share this with you, I know it MUST be done in order to get things at least A LITTLE cleared up (arrg, I'm going to be SO angry when I send this, besides I have written this 5 times already, cause my computer is GAY).

I really don’t know.... you kind of stopped talking to me first, so I felt that you didn’t want to talk to me at all. So, I decided to not talk to you too. Besides that, you did something that really ticked me off, and I couldn’t confront you about it, so in frustration I decided to childishly stop talking to you.

I’m SO EXTREMELY over it now though, i mean...Its ridiculous how OVER it I really am.

But yeah, I really wouldn't mind just staying friends with you, I don't know about you, but I'm not holding any grudges. This isn’t me desperately trying to be friends with you either, cause I have a little TOO many friends, and sometimes I wish I didn’t have so many...(especially when Bday parties come around...oh god.). I just wanted you to know at AT LEAST 5% of whats going on. I would tell you face to face, honestly, i hate sending messages....But, I thought this was the safest way of saying what’s on my mind, without saying too much...cause I tend to ramble, like I am sort of doing now.

If you feel like you might want to talk about this some more and know the other 95%, it’s all good, I’ll talk about it. If you still don’t want to talk to me, it’s all good...I mean, I’m just glad I got this out of my system.

So...yeah.

I’m gonna go now...

Hope you had a great trip!

=]

-Sharifa.

I did it.
And I honestly did'nt even give a damn. I really was just like "SEND" and didn't even think
about anything but the fact that I would feel so much better know that he knows 5% of the truth.

I feel a lot better.

OH MY GOSH.
Im nearing my BC and I'm kind of scared...But I have searched more and more naturals in the BIZ to kep me a bit more motivated.

Geez. The suspense is killing me.

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