ouijevis //

As you may or may not know, i have had some thing sto say to a certain someone and haven't said it.
So this afternoon, while in the library, I wrote him a message, because apparently he thinks i am going around telling people a bunch of shit. Which I am not.
Since he's in Ottawa right now...I decided to send him this message on facebook to read when he gets back:

Hey.

While you were gone, I heard (from a source that will remain unnamed) that you thought (or were definite) that I was the one who told Ms Lomas about the thingy.

I didn’t, and it makes me feel pretty cruddy to have you think that way. The person who told me wanted to confront you about it alone, having me not need to talk to you myself. However, I have decided that I’d prefer to tell you myself, because getting others involved only creates more confusion...as you already know.

So here is my theory on How Ms. Lomas found out:

Before I begin, I want to make it known to you (even though, you probably don’t even care) that I don’t ‘hate’ you. I understand how that could lead you to believe that I told Ms Lomas not to get you. However, I wouldn’t go and tell Ms Lomas some stuff that would stop you from joining us in the trip to Ottawa, even if I did ‘hate’ you, I wouldn’t do such a terrible thing. In fact, believe it or not, I was the one who suggested she go get you.

Shocked? I know. Turns out, I am not as big of a Bitch as you would like to believe I am. Sorry to disappoint you Devaun.

So yeah, I will admit, I DID tell 2 teachers, 1 Guidance and 1 CYW.

How did this happen?

Ms. Sarellas because, during the time we were together, I asked her something that was really bothering me, and I couldn’t quite tell anyone else, because. Well I don’t really know. But whatever, she brought in Ms. Murphy to see her opinion on it, and I allowed it cause, I wanted to know her opinion as well. Anyway, so after we weren’t together anymore she approached me and asked “How are things with you and ...” and I answered the obvious answer. And YES I may have elaborated. But I trusted her with that information.

Ms. Murphy because, one day I was really ticked off about something, and I couldn’t find Ms. Sarellas, so I went to Murphy. If I didn’t talk about this with someone WAY more mature than my friends(especially laila..), I would surely have ended up beating a certain person up. Not you, but it had to do with you . So she gave me a bit a guidance there, and let me vent off to her and I was a tad more calm. Even though i almost threw a chair at Christina’s boyfriend that same day.

.... long story.

My CYW because, she’s my CYW. I am allowed to tell her these things right? Yeah, so I obviously vented to her about a lot of things.

Ms. Orsini. This was the most recent,(all the other ones were like before holidays) I actually had this conversation with her a week before Student Council took over announcements.

She saw me and asked me to come see her a little after third period. So I go see her and she is asking me if it would be okay to have a Male voice on the Announcements, basically suggesting I FIRE Laila. So i say “Sure no problem, It really doesn’t matter.”
“What about Devaun? I know you two are close friends, and you could discuss it with him, and he’d love to join you right?”
“Uh. I guess, but me and him don’t really speak anymore, but I will still run it by him, he’s in my fourth period class so...”
“oh, right. You two used to date ... well I don’t want to put you in that situation and make it uncomfortable for you.”
“Oh, no it’s okay. I’m sure it’s not much of an issue...I can deal with it.”
“No. No. We will have to think of someone else....hm. “
The rest of the conversation is not about you so...moving on.

So I think Ms Lomas found out through Ms Orsini. Ms Sarellas said she found out through Gr. 9s. Ms Murphy said “Oh really?! I didn’t know...” but I had a feeling she knew. Ms. Orsini, already knew as well...and I don’t know how, probably word of mouth as well. Ms. Lomas is out of the loop, so i am sure someone had to inform her.

-sigh-

So there is my theory.

I’m sorry if you thought I was an asshole and told Ms Lomas to avoid going to you or something, cause I really didn’t. I am not like that at all. I thought you, out of all people, would know that, but I guess I was wrong. You really don’t know me AT ALL.

P.S

I don't Hate you. I don't bad mouth you & try to tarnish your image.
I’ve heard that you think I do. Which I don’t, by the way...

I'm not talking to you because, as much as I don't even want to have to share this with you, I know it MUST be done in order to get things at least A LITTLE cleared up (arrg, I'm going to be SO angry when I send this, besides I have written this 5 times already, cause my computer is GAY).

I really don’t know.... you kind of stopped talking to me first, so I felt that you didn’t want to talk to me at all. So, I decided to not talk to you too. Besides that, you did something that really ticked me off, and I couldn’t confront you about it, so in frustration I decided to childishly stop talking to you.

I’m SO EXTREMELY over it now though, i mean...Its ridiculous how OVER it I really am.

But yeah, I really wouldn't mind just staying friends with you, I don't know about you, but I'm not holding any grudges. This isn’t me desperately trying to be friends with you either, cause I have a little TOO many friends, and sometimes I wish I didn’t have so many...(especially when Bday parties come around...oh god.). I just wanted you to know at AT LEAST 5% of whats going on. I would tell you face to face, honestly, i hate sending messages....But, I thought this was the safest way of saying what’s on my mind, without saying too much...cause I tend to ramble, like I am sort of doing now.

If you feel like you might want to talk about this some more and know the other 95%, it’s all good, I’ll talk about it. If you still don’t want to talk to me, it’s all good...I mean, I’m just glad I got this out of my system.

So...yeah.

I’m gonna go now...

Hope you had a great trip!

=]

-Sharifa.

I did it.
And I honestly did'nt even give a damn. I really was just like "SEND" and didn't even think
about anything but the fact that I would feel so much better know that he knows 5% of the truth.

I feel a lot better.

OH MY GOSH.
Im nearing my BC and I'm kind of scared...But I have searched more and more naturals in the BIZ to kep me a bit more motivated.

Geez. The suspense is killing me.

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