ouijevis //

I was with a friend the other afternoon and we were talking and perusing the mall, when she had told me that she had bought a pair of VS athletic shorts for 50$..because she was pressured by a friend (who I used to be friends with - so I could totally understand what she was saying).  She had said that whenever they go out to the mall all together, this friend always makes her feel cheap because she is always splurging on really expensive things like MK, Juicy Couture, Burberry and the like..so my friend was feeling pressured to also buy something that was pretty expensive and a waste of her cash just so she wouldn't feel so sub-par. I know how she feels because...well I used to be in the same situation. I was barely pressured to buy - but I would definitely feel very cheap. I didn't bother saying much other than: "I understand, cause I have been there too.". My friend wanted to return the shorts (which I guess she did Saturday, since she wanted to do it ASAP)...

I know that it isn't as easy as saying "I don't like going out shopping with her because of X, Y &Z", but it isn't healthy if you have a "friend" who makes you feel cheap. It's either you are jealous or they are overdoing it. & I know she isn't jealous, I have been there and I know that due to this person's insecurities - she tends to overcompensate with her lux garments and lux life that she seems to be living. I just feel somewhat sorry for those people who can no longer love themselves enough to do what they want without making others feel worthless. But I guess the saying is: "Turn Down For WHAAA?!" ..or something?

Well, conspicuous consumption will do that to you... sometimes if you can't see through it you end up feeling "basic" beside someone like that. However, I can see right through it...and thus, I was never pressured that much.

WELP!

Just had to get that off my chest.

Peace.

You know what sucks?

when you like something that is just SO mega awesome and after a week or two of loving it to death and being like "OH EM GIZZ, This is the CATS muhhfookin' PYJAMAS!", it turns out someone else has the advantage of actually getting that really awesome thing. You can't get it cause, just cause you like the thing, doesn't mean you can get the thing, since that thing is only open for CEDRTAIN people to get thier hands on. You know?

Screw it.

As you may or may not have noticed, this has nothing about what you think it's about. You may just have to think outside of the Obvious Box to get what I'm saying today.

Crap.

I hate when stuff like this happends, when I want something but can't get it. I mean, I could get it, it's not like the thing is entitled to SOMEONE ELSE or something, it's just.... if i go get this thing, it would just kind of be not right, knowing that the thing is better off with the other person. When actually the thing isn't, but that's not the point. Screw this ish. To the point where you don't even want to be around the DAMN thing. You don't even want to see the othe rperson around the thing anyway, cause you KNOW how much easier it is for them to get the thing than for YOU to get the thing. Oh my gosh. Sometimes I just wish I was one of those people who were into themselves, so much to the point where... nothing even matters, things don't matter and unwritten rules were not read to me.

Yeah.

It's one of those UNWRITTEN RULES.
Screw it.

Well, I'm not going to screw the unwritten rule or anything...I'm just going to screw the idea of possibly breaking the unwritten rule, without actually breaking it. I could easily do it, however I would feel like SUCH SHIT if I did. So screw that.

Screw me for being such a nice, caring, respectful person.

HORRID THINGS HAPPEN TO GREAT PEOPLE....like myself.

Ugh.

Fuck this. And screw unwritten rules.

-Sharz

So I havent been posting many motivational pictures lately..so I'm doing that...
Also I found some more sites that are VERY helpful and educational for Naturals and Transitioners.

http://www.tytecurl.com/
http://ourhair.net/
http://soulcommune.ning.com/

Ok folks.

I was on a site called Natural Hair Care Guide (naturalhaircareguide.com), and came across some very good info that i decided to share this afternoon.

12 Hair Tips For Transitioners:(the people who, like me, decided to grow out their relaxer...)

General Tips Realize your hair will shed.If you see some relaxed ends in your comb don't be alarmed it is part of the process. Choose styles that keep your hair handling to a minimum.This will help to keep breakage to a minimum. If you can avoid messing with your hair every day, do so. There are styles that last a week or more. And some that you can wash your hair with them in. Avoid styles that will cause your hair to tangle. An example of this would be getting tiny braids. They can be a pain to get out when you have straight hair. The can be doubly frustrating when your hair is two texture. Avoid using afro kinky "cotton spiral" hair for kinky twists. This hair look quite similar to natural tightly coiled hair. It can actually start to tangle with your new growth. I've heard horror stories of ladies having to spend hours extra taking it out. Steer clear while transitioning if you still have relaxed ends. Have your braids touched up your braids between appointments. If you are using braids to transition, get the front and sides touched up between braiding. This is where a lot of product and gunk builds up. Having it touched up every two weeks between full braidings will keep your hair looking nice and keep the edges from being so tangled when your take them down. Always detangle from tip to end. Keep your hair moisturized. When Washing . . . Try to avoid tangling your hair while washing it.Be gently with your hair. Think of it as a cashmere sweater and not a dirty pair of work pants. Smooth on products from root to end. Blot dry. Trimming Set a cutting/trimming schedule. Only use hair scissors to trim your ends.Never cut anything else with those scissors. If you feel uncomfortable trimming your ends enlist the help of a friend or go to a salon.

Okays...on to the transitioning FACTS ("i only picked the ones that are not so obvious...well at least to me")

What is scab hair?
Scab hair is a term that refers to the hair that is just below the scalp that has been damaged because of the relaxers/perms. This type of hair may be drier and harder to style. It is not your actual hair but the remnants of the relaxing process. You may or may not experience this condition. It all depends on how often and how long you relaxed your hair before you decided to go natural.

What is ACV and what does it do?
ACV stands for apple cider vinegar. You can make a rinse with it by mixing 1 tablespoon of apple cider vinegar with a cup of water you would pour this over you hair as your final rinse. The rinse is mildly acidic so it helps balances you scalps pH. It closes the cuticle scales on your hairs surface which helps your hair to feel softer and makes light reflect off your hairs surface giving your hair a natural shine. It also can help to remove products that build up on the hairs shaft which can make hair look dull.


Are there any safe shampoos?
Yes there are several sulfate free shampoos and shampoos that are better than what you usually find in the store you can find a list of them here http://www.longhaircommunity.com/forums/showthread.php?t=34009

What is a co-wash or no-poo?
This is using conditioner or something other than of shampoo to wash your hair. Shampoos have harsh chemicals that can be drying and damaging to your hair. You can find more information about going shampoo free here.

What should I look for in a good moisturizer?
Water at the top of the list is a good sign. Some good natural moisturizers are aloe vera gel and shea butter.

How often should I wash my hair?
Natural hair loves water, so you can wash it as much as you like as long as you are not using regular shampoos (those with sulfates). Co-Washing will get your hair clean and leave it soft and easy to detangle (very important when you are working with two different hair types.)


How often should I trim my hair while I am transitioning?
An inch a month seems to be the norm. If you will be trimming your ends yourself make sure that you invest in a good pair of hair trimming scissors. Remember to only use your hair scissors to trim your hair. Cutting other things will dull them.

Why is my scalp itching?
There are many reason that you scalp could be itching. It could be reacting to the products that you are using. It could be dry. It could be just getting use to your new hair routine.


Whoo!
Great News!
One of my friends passed by my blog, and while i was on msn she said
"sharifa, i totally support you cutting you hair, i saw your blog and didnt know you were so passionate about it. I support you."

I felt really good.

I mean, i know i said i didn't care but, it is always relieving to know someone understands you.
You know?

So progress has been made!



Anyway.

Motivational speakers came to our school today, to talk to us about Darfur.
after learning about this, i actually felt really pissed off, the this shit is happening in our world. There are so many things that people worry about, small things like "what a i gonna wear?", "what should i have with this sandwich" to "how am i gonna feed my children" and "what shall happen to our planet?"

Honestly..

I never thought Darfur was bad...
like i thought it was the same as everywhere else...
bad, but the same.

Its not, it is totally DAMN different and HORRIBLE.
THOUSANDS/MILLIONS are DYING...its a damn genocide down there...the man Sudan is just killing them off like rats and not giving a damn, and here we are worrying about shit like money, which is important...

but seriously, is it as important as worrying about how you will die, when, how soon, who else, will you get raped in a minute?

IMAGINE THE MONSTROSITY.
The bullshit that goes on.
The evil minds of SOME people.

after the presentation I wanted to make a difference...but then realized i didnt have the resources. but i may get my friend to come with me and stand up...she actually call our PM today...
the thing is, will he listen?
will he give a damn?
will he do something?

probably not.

sometimes it feels like they are just trying to kill black people all over from different angles.

Life is hard to us here in our LITTLE (less populated)developed countries...
While Life is a straight up CHEATING/ABUSING/BITCH ASS husband to other BIG(a lot of population) developing countries.

if only everyone could help, just once in our lazy lives, just help out , do some good and try. At least try, and know you tried your very best.

cause though people dont belive it, sometimes one action...
one simple action of random kindness...
can change the world.



-SHARZ <3