Listening to: 



I am back in school yay!

Thank goodness.

So, I  have been back in school for 3 weeks now, and as always OSAP is late and taking forever - though I have been way more on top of things by making sure I am always calling the financial aid office and getting up in there face about the stuff I care about. Instead of sitting around waiting for answers like I used to do.

Also, I am finally a permanent employee ! It feels SO GOOD to not have to worry about a contract being expired and looking for a new place of employment. So....so..good. It's a great environment and I am finally out of the sales business - so no more crazy commission (though it's still commission and tips - it's not as competitive and crazy), people work as a team and actually look out for each other - most of the time. Obviously there are the few that don't care and just want to make money to the point where they may try to steal your sales...but if too many of us notice we will all come down on you together and isolate you. It happened yesterday...

This guy kept taking orders - some were in my quadrant and some were in another couple of servers quadrants (we all have set areas to serve)...this dude had been doing it to me for 2 weeks and I was getting to the edge. I made up my mind I was either going to speak to him or just take his sales, however it seemed like more than one server had an issue with it so during down time, we all walked and talked to him about it. Cause it was just ridiculous...

In other news...

I am a lot happier I feel like my life is going in the right direction. I had been in a depression situation for some time and I just wasn't doing things according to what I needed; I had been spending a lot of my time doing what needed to be done for others and not myself. I realized that I have to put myself first and no matter how much it may hurt someone's feelings - I can't hurt myself and be depressed and cry everyday and feel sad and worthless and lacklustre forever. Sometimes you have to just know that you are worth a lot more and you deserve to make yourself happy - if you can't do it financially then you REALLY have to do it in other ways.

The entire situation took a huge toll on my face too - I am undergoing serious treatment with The Body Shop to bring my skin back to being #flawless without makeup on. (its working, and I am going to do a product review on it very very soon! :) )


That's what I am up to.

Next...

I have GOALS for 2k14!

My goal is to grow my hair to chest length! My hair is already growing pretty well lately, I just have to make sure I really take care of my hair instead of being crazy and just cutting and blow drying and doing all this crazy stuff to it.

I am going back to the gym next week! Yay!
Still shooting for a weight of 115 (minimum) - and I have been gaining...So yay some more!
Oh yeah....and you know get a awesome GPA and be super-duper great for the end of the semester. Then I am going to summer school cause..yeah. Want to bring myself up to speed.

Anyways, I have class in a little bit..but I am back to blogging and taking time out for myself to release my thoughts :)

More to come ya'lls!

<3 p="">

Alright so...

For 3 days straight now I have been wondering whether or not I should give myself Havana Twists, get a wig or just wear my hair out!! I have been so lazy and my hair is SO THICK I haven't been taking the time to style it. i have been wearing turbans for a week. No maintenance at all. It sucks. So I have been looking all over the internets in order to figure out what I want to do with my hair!! I have been looking at Havana's cause they seem the easiest to do - without having to pay someone else to do it - and its within my Student Life Budget! so - I have been thinking on it. I have been thinking long and hard for 4 days. I may even come to a decision!The best technique that I found was actually from a vlogger by the account of: GodCallsMeBeloved - I always found it so hard to figure out the situation of how to get it to work for me. So her tutorial was the best for my comprehension of the Havana Twists situation. Maybe I will find out my technique on the way and do a video.

I am also thinking about doing protective styles for the rest of the damn year. Document the process - and the growth. I need to have my hair off my to-do list for a while. That's all. My hair grew a lot when I always out braids in my hair every couple months. So I may just need to do that again.


Decisions, Decisionsssssssss



I will let you know - obviously....

Peace!

Okay,

So hello everyone and how is it going in the world of YOU? I hope whomever may or may not be reading this is having a pretty good day so far. I feel like I am really talking to no one. I haven't been on here as often as I used to - however I have a laptop again. However, with one shit thing comes a great thing - which is I have a laptop again, but I have lost my Camera charger....so...shit.


That is sort of okay - I guess I will use my Note 2 as a camera for the time being until.... I can find a new charger or get a  new camera all together. You know?

So anywaysss...

My HAIR UPDATES!!

Okay so as you may not have known I finally did the HUGE DOOKIE BRAIDS thing and I am out here looking like I should be on the set of Friday or Juice or Poetic Justice or some shit. Which is great cause that is sort of what I was looking for. I used about 9 packs of Kanekalon in my head...the first 2 days were brutal - however I am cool now. My hair has been in braids for maybe....2 months? 3 months? It feels like 2 but my hair grows fast so it is starting to look a little....interesting now ....if you know what I mean.

I have been debating cornrows or something. But seeing as I may not have enough cashola to get my hair braided again...cause most of the money went to the braids to be honest...the hairdresser thought I was crazy - but....nah I just really needed NINE PACKS.


Okay so, yeah... I think I will give my hair a break from the false hair and just work with it as is for a month. Until I gather some more funds to fix it up. I mean - its great to not have to do my hair everyday to every other day but - sometimes I want to have a little one on one with my hair.... and long hair is def something I need to hold off on for a bit - I need my NECK to get a break.

So I have bought 3 new hair products (and one new face product..cause I am having skin troubles..)

Went to Sally's this afternoon and bought the following which I will be trying out later in the week:


I finally got the Tangle Teezer!
It's in pink and I have heard so much GREATNESS from this product all over the natural-hair-blog-and-vlogoshphere about it...so... I got it.

It was only 16.59 with my Beauty Club Card.

I got the Proclaim Argan Oil Shampoo

and I got ....some wide tooth combs.


MORE later!

I will still need to take out my braids soo..

MORE LATER!

My sis Skype called me today to check on me and see if im okay. ..*feels loved*

---
Things start to get odd when your friends who are psych majors. . . Start psycho-analyzing you in situations. Using all these terminology. ..

Its fun.  I don't mind being in a situation like that with someone I trust knows me for a while.
When other people do it, it's kind of irritating.

It's more like an "ohhhh... you know what?  You are so right about that- that is definitely what I am doing right now. "

---
It's sometimes a good thing to have people that know you and to have the opportunity to come across people who are willing to get to know you. Some people want to help you rise up and some rather see you in the same place.
It's the people who really want to help that will try to get to know where you're coming from.

Even I am like that.
I am a nice person that likes to help out. However if I have no interest in really helping someone- I don't get to know them or get to know where their mind is at.
I am working on giving people the opportunity to let me know where they are coming from when asked of them.

I am learning every day.
Maybe someone will help me learn something more today.

---
I am thinking of blowing out my hair today.
I have a job interview tomorrow!
So I want to be... not looking like I do now.
I look pretty tired and worn out.
I cried all day yesterday. ..and people in the park looked at me funny. ..but I really didn't care.

Whatever man. ..I am human for crying out loud. ..no pun intended.

I tried to get a hold of someone at times like this so that I don't do anything crazy.
My sis got me on snap chat and cheered me up.  Fell asleep and snap chatted me in the morning.  I guess she thought I was still down so she Skype called me.

My friend who goes to school with me messaged and told me where I should be seeing things.  It's good to get the perspective of someone who knows I'm not as bad as some might think.  Someone who just knows I make mistakes and need to learn from them. Someone who can just relax and tell me : maybe I am looking at things the wrong way and need to change my perspective.

Who just knows I am a person worth being around and trying to understand or at least know that I can be spoken to. If I take something the wrong way- this person knows it is a misunderstanding and comes back to explain where I am not seeing things.

It's refreshing and touching.

So, back to my hair. ..

Blowing it out.
I cowashed yesterday.
I don't have a wide tooth comb.
But I am going to use what I have. As always.

Job interview on Monday.
Got my smart serve! Sorta. ..

Because I got such a high mark on the final exam they need to call me for an audit. They think I cheated. ..

I honestly thought I was going to fail my first go through. ..but u got 98% on my first try!

Whoop! !

Anyway. ..
I am going to get started on my hair.

Later.

Haven't done this in what feels like forever !

So I am working with what I can...

Yay!

I am planning on doing some YT vids for a while till I go to the cottage with my friends..

In order to keep my hair FUSS-FREE I am putting my hair in braids!
So I shall show you all those things Next week!

The vids are mostly going to be rambles sooooo......
Yeah.
I am a very happy girl right now sooo.... yeah. Gonna go - had a jam packed work weekend and I am going home now. My salon appointment is @ 8AM! -___-

AFTER SEEING THIS CHICK... I have decided to re-start my journey to actually growing my hair. As in:
Eating healthy
Drinking more water...
Trimming my bloody ends
Locking in moisture.
Taking proper care of what goes in it

I am taking this to a whole NOTHA LEVEL!
Starting next week or this holiday when I am not so extremely busy. lol

Its been a while since I have re-dyed my hair....

I put my hair back a lot due to lack of time to style it... and I mostly do braid-outs

I had a lacefront for a week but hated it... the wind was too much for me! I used to do bantu-knot outs.... but the time it takes to do it is too much for me lately... so... yeah.

I really need to dust my ends, or do a full on TRIMMING! I haven't trimmed since August! -___-


That is all.

So far so good, I just tried a dab on dry hair to see how it works. Its pretty good I guess, but I have to use it on my styling time rather than in my friend's bathroom. Haha.

The smell is pretty good. It smells really .... Organic. Haha. My HD webcam is making ,my videos SHITTY.... so I dont think I will be able to make a video in a long time. I'll try to fix it though. Anyway, the Humectant pomade is like jello, like if you tap the container it vibrates haha! And it comes in small packages, but a little goes a very long way. So we'll see how it works out.

Another thing is Paddle Brushes. Yo' man, fck Denman! Cheap Goodie (or anykind) Paddle Brushes ROCK ASS! However, I feel like Denman is good for styling, but not for De-tangling, it feels like it rips. The Paddle Brush made my in-shower De-tangling process so much faster, I didn't even have to separate the hair! Oh my gosh. Seriously don't believe all you hear about how paddle brushes are for white people or people with straight hair / curly-wavy hair. Paddle brushes are cheap and it works. It gives a little curl definition too. Not as drastic as the Denman... but you can work it out.

As for my trip to Aveda (man this post is ALL OVER THE PLACE) I didn't buy the Curl enhancer because the stylist said I didn't need curl enhancement I need curl definition, which was right, so she advised me to just buy the Universal styling creme and the pomade. In addition to that I was offered a free cup of tea and a free hand massage. WHICH WAS ORGASMIC! Like holy crap... all the troubles of my life passed through my hands and into the air.

Hahaha....seriously though.



So next on my June wishlist is:

• Shea Butter
• African Black Soap

Yay! ^__^

Sometimes guys can be dumb. That goes without saying... but I want to tell you about my experience today (for the ump-teenth time)...

So it took me like 2 days (approximately) to take out the braid extensions! Ughh. When I was done I looked at myself and was a little worried about things because I was used to the braids and how much everyone liked it. But as you know I want to try out those Aveda products and let my hair have some spotlight for a while... so I was just going to deal with it.

Usually, even after I went natural, I had really high self-esteem and confidence in myself. I knew I wasn't the BEST LOOKING GIRL IN THE UNIVERSE, but I was alright with me and I knew I had things a lot of girls would love to have and I took pride in it. But I was also humble about it too. So you know.... I never had a constant need to re-assure myself that I was pretty. Unless I went out with friends, but even then I realized it was because I didn't stress slutty enough to get noticed. Haha.... uhh yeah.

So anyways.
I'm with my boyfriend and he calls me cute and the dreaded "hot" and "sexy" all the time... so I went ahead and asked if he'd still think so if we weren't together and he didn't know me as a person already. Now before I progress any further I WILL say that one of the things I love the most about my boyfriend is his honesty. However, the truth DOES hurt ... so I was just saddened by the truth...

So as you can imagine he said:

JV: No, I would think you were cute. But if you had your hair straightened I would wanna fuck you.

Moi: Hmm. Ok. So that's like me and your Abs..... ... Or lack thereof.

(heheheeeeeee take that bitch. )

---

But yeah he started talking about how he thinks girls with straight hair are "fcuking hot" and shit about :

JV: You don't date the hot girl, you date the cute girl.. cause they're the real girlfriend material"

So yeah... I got pissed off for sure. Cause as much as I love him, I want to ask these questions to make sure I have someone who doesn't need to focus on how "great" I look cause of my hair. I mean, he always says he doesn't care.. but then he talks about some girl's straight hair or some shit...and how "Guys always think straight hair is hot" .. which isn't always true, but whatever.
I don't know. Its just a self-esteem decliner for me. I am peeking on the best times of a persons life... and I am in a serious relationship while all my friends are single... so I want to make sure I am not wasting my time. I don't want to come home one day from NOT PARTYING ( like I couldn't have been doing today! My friends at the moment are at some sick Condo Rooftop Party.. -sigh- ) to find out he has cheated on me with some straight-haired broad because she had long flowing hair that he could sweep around and tug or whatever the fuck guys wanna do with that shit. Fuck man.

UGH!\\JNSFBCNSKIFSJKFKJSBLKVBLSHBVKSHBBVGUWIFHSIHJBCFKJSNWBFI923PUY
2PIRHUDWANCFJSVK\

Fuck man.

I don't know, I guess I am just going through some issues. This is how I am without a job and money I guess. Hhaha.T__T

I dunno. I'm really pissed. I know he loves me regardless, but its just about... my life and how I am wasting my time here on earth. I cried soon afterwards... cause I thuoght of how other guys I were with treated my natural hair as a beautiful thing and never talked about my hair straight or anything. They just really want to see it grow. Haha, like they would really ask me to let it grow. Sometimes I think its cause they're black so they know more about what goes on than a white guy. My ex was happy I stopped perming my hair and altering it. My other guy friend had cornrows so we both related with hair and talked about hair together.

Its not like NATURAL HAIR IS MY LIFE. It's just that...if there is something / someone better for me out there I rather meet them and be on an everlasting conquest than stay with someone who can't fully think even with my fro that I am sexy.

Rant over.