ouijevis //

PATHIETIC POETIC MOMENT(#3or4?): I love you, after goodbye.

4/13/2009 12:01:00 AM

I Love You.

I love the way you walk, I love the way to talk, i love they way you make me feel.
the way you make me look.
And you read me like a book, I know it's cliche to make those two words rhyme with each other.
However you, are like no other.
No other person could make me cry,
then make me laugh in less than 20 minutes.
No other could make me do the things I have done with you in the past,
but like I you knew that this would not last.

You knew, as I knew, it was too good to be true.
I tried to tell you, my feelings were true.

and they were.

However, you were right when you said "you don't feel the same as I do."
I didn't Love you the way you loved me.

I didn't feel for you with the same exact percentage as you.

I did love you.
I cared.
I tried to let you know.

Then you started, getting attached.
I felt under pressure.
I felt trapped.

I love you, but I can't stay...

And as I turn your blue skies to grey,
I hope you remember me that way...that last call full of sighs.
We said I love you, after goodbye.

Based on me re-breaking up with my ex-exboyfriend.
-sigh- I did it this morning...
But... we were losing the spark. It came and went, until it just felt like it needed to be pulled by force. I had to cut it off, and he has to let go.
Cause he couldn't the first time.

-Sharz
<33
S'later!

natural

I CAN'T WAIT!!

4/12/2009 08:34:00 PM

I can't wait!
TO GO SWIMMING NEXT WEEK!

My school has a pool, and swiming is in the curriculum, and before my big chop (cause we had swimming before two weeks ago) I was always shying away from the pool. BUT NOW!! Now I can jump in the pol, and I will. And I will get full marks for notbeing a chicken, and not having to wear that riDONKulous cap, that doesn't even work by the way, i tried it....it sucks.

Im watching the No. 1 Ladies Detective's Angency now, I missed a good half of it. and I;m ticked by that...however, work is work.

Whoot! Swiming is Tuesday, I believe for two weeks we'll be in the pool. Man, I love being natural.

OH MY STARS...

NATURAL-NESS ROCK MY SOCKS RIGHT THE F*** OFF!

-Sharz!
<333
S'later!

beautiful

Well Exsqueeeze Me.

4/12/2009 04:32:00 PM

Alright, I hate this shit to core right about now, and I think it is about time I come out with it and BLOG about how much this pisses me off.

JUST BECAUSE I'M BLACK DOESN'T MEAN I CAN'T ENJOY DIFFERENT GENRES!!

So the hell what if I listen to bands such as:
Kings Of Leon
Cancer Bats
Die Mannequin
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Bob Dylan
The NOISETTES
The Doors
The Kills
Pink Floyd
Billy Talent
Linkin Park
Avenge Sevenfold
THE LIST GOES ON...I am missing A LOT

Anyways, i enjoy some elctronica and shit too. JEBUS!
Like why is it such an issue, why is there so much that I HAVE TO DO in order to be officially BLACK or AFRICAN DESCENDED?!?
This is bull crap.

I will listen to my rock music and be damn happy about it!
I will also not eat many fried foods, drink Kool-Aid (though i LOVE kool-aid, thats jsut cause it tastes DAMN GOOD!) and not go gallivanting around in barely any clothes and be loud and obnoxious.

Shiz.

---
On to other things..
I have been diagnosed with HIF(hand in fro) syndrome.

It's terrible.

I can't get my damn hands out of my hair. And I absolutley love the defined coils, that are unfortunately hidden most of the times by the undefined coils. Grr. I need to invest in a denman, or at least a look-alike. I went and applied for a HELLUVA lot of jobs and...i'm not getting call backs. DAMNIT! I used to work at the FRICKEN Gap!
I should be getting jobs like THAT. I snapped my fingers just now, incase you couldn't hear that....which you prabably didn't.

And WHY AM I SO SHY!?!
There's this guy i thought was cute for about 3 years now, and thought he was so nice and all that buisness. So I just became friends with his good friend at school, and he just happends to be INTRESTED IN MOI! Thats right yall. I mean, I don't think he's seen me with my TWA - on account of we don't bump into eachother as much in the halls anymore, but if he doesn't like me with my TWA then he isn't worthy of my love. I'm prud of my TWA , and I don't give a damn if dudes nah like it.
- my jamaican accent right there-

What i ned to be doing is my laundry, my grandma's hair and cleaning my room and possibly my bathroom...since everything is a mess.
Agh, I have an Independant Study Project to do for Night School English (i didn't fail, i just want to upgrade my mark....).

Im such a procrastinator.

SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I gotta start on my shizz.
S'later!
<333

Smiling Politely - Cancer Bats feat. Ben Kowalewicz

blog

The World Is Whatever You Perceive It To Be...

4/10/2009 11:34:00 PM

"The world is a comedy to those who think; and a tragedy to those who feel."
~Horace Walpole

"This quote, among other notable variations of its theme, summarily describes how one's outlook on life, in general, is affected by the "ruling organ" that determines one's actions and responses. For as long as I've known myself, I've always tried to identify ironies and common themes in past experieces, so that every situation I observe or am involved in seems less serious than it may really be. Over time, that outlook has evolved (or devolved really) from joviality, to sarcasm, to cynicism- from good to bad to downright ugly and outright negative.

I find myself now floundering in unrelenting pessimism. But why? I thought the whole time I was thinking instead of feeling, after all. Ah... "I thought... I was thinking". Maybe that's the problem. True, that's more observation that explanation- but perhaps understanding the meaning behind the statement is the first step in identifying the core problem.

To be fair though, I've never identified myself as an outright optimist. I'd never thought though that my outlook could be so tainted by all that I've observed. Is the world spiralling into oblivion as quickly as it seems? Are my goals really that distant and unreachable? And is the future more uncertain now than it has ever been? Or am just channelling/concentrating a zeitgeist that pervades my entire generation?

Ironically, it amuses me that I've come full circle as far as my perception of my life, world and future. And ironically again- I'm not pleased with my present state of mind. I'd love to go back to the way I was- and I don't think that's very far- but I'm not sure if the way back comes from entirely within, or entirely without, or a little of both. Maybe there's one thing- just one thing- that needs to happen to catalyze the reversion.

Maybe I need to stop thinking about me.

It's just a theory, though. "

As written by my uncle Roger.

He has a blog ( http://initiatorsofbedlam.blogspot.com/ ), I just realized... which is kinda odd to me. But then again, he isn't that much older than me, he's one of those young uncles, who you wouldn't believe I was his niece since he's about 12 years older than me.

Anyways, I posted his words cause I felt as though I was going through the same situation, I used to be so happy and full of life and a bit of harmful sarcasm here and there. But then it got worst and I became a cynicist, though that isn't even a word... but I don't want to use pessemist cause I dont see everything in a bad way.

Or do I?

I think I do...

Do I?

Oh well, point of it all is, some of it has been cured thanks to my big chop... but I know that some of it is still there - the downright hideous cynicism that is. "Life is like a box of chocolates"- is what my friend's brother kept on repeating as a imitation of Forest Gump this afternoon. I said..."How the heck is life a box of chocolates? I swear when you get the box they show you what inside, along with a short description...". Therefore:

Life + Chocolates = ERROR.

Since there is no answer. Since it does not exists.

Don't you think if Life were a box of g'damn chocolates it would be much easier!!??

Forest Gump - or at least the writer of the film- is a doucherag.

Good Day.

S'later!

<333

-Sharz

getting fit.

Getting Fit for Late Spring/Early Summer.

4/10/2009 12:32:00 PM

Oh lawd!
My hair is EXTRA dense man! There is hair ALL OVER my head! And the coils or SERIOUS and the shrinkage is EXTRA SERIOUS! I feel like it's getting thicker every day. I like wake up in the morning and i'm like "HOLY! Did it grow?" but maybe thats just me not being used to touching a full head of naps every orning. Its like being newly married, or just moving in with your boo.
You aren't used to them in the early morning.

A N Y W A Y S . . .

Whenever - KiD CuDi

So, i gained about 4 pounds this week...which isn't huge deal for me, however i don't want to gain ANYMORE.

So i remembered a while back when I was chubby (because i was chubby last year) I went on yahoo answers and asked a question about how to stay fit. This is the answer I got:

a low-carb, low fat, high-fiber diet is the best diet. this is a sample menu, about 1200 calories the whole day. you will not spend a lot, and you will not feel hunger.

breakfast:
1 pc toast / sliced bread
1 pc banana or apple
1 glass of milk
tea or coffee with low cal sweetener (or sugar)

10 am snack:
1 banana or apple OR
10 pcs of berries OR
1 cup popcorn
1 glass lemonade or juice

lunch:
open sandwich (no bread on top) containing:
1 slice of smoked ham/or turkey since Sharz doesn't eat pork (about 60 grams)
tomatoes, lettuce, onion
1 glass juice/lemonade/tea
(i did this yesterday except i had an ice cap instead of lemonade or tea)
4pm snack:
3 pcs of oreo cookies OR
1 palmful peanuts OR
any medium sized fruit

dinner:
1 100-gram cut of lean meat (if chicken, no skin)
1 1/2 golfball size serving mashed potato or pasta
up to 2 cups of green veggies or steamed carrots and peas
dessert: any medium fruit OR
1 golfball size of low fat ice cream or sorbet
1 cup of coffee or tea

you can do variations of this sample plan. very low cost (not totally no cost of course), and low maintenance. you will not feel any hunger at any time of the day. the best thing is, these foods are definitely available in your own house, probably also the things you eat daily. and you will not deprive yourself so binging and mood swings will be avoided.

throw in some exercise while you're at it: jogging, weightlifting for muscle development, pilates for flexibility (there are websites that show some basic pilates moves), powerwalking for stamina building. even regular day to day activities help - walking to the bus station, bicycling to the supermarket, mopping the floor, you can even do some jogging in-place while watching TV. remember that a well balanced diet and regular exercise is still the best. not only will you be kept trim, you will also stay healthy.

remember that there are no quick-fix diets and exercises. starving yourself and pushing yourself to extreme exhaustion would only lead to even more dangers, and a higher medical cost. the best way to achieve your goal and to get a healthier body is to incorporate a well balanced diet and enough exercise in your daily life.

Source(s):
i am a professional fitness instructor.

Hope this may help someone else who's trying to get fit for late spring and early summer.
You have to start this ish from right now, or at least i feel as if it is a good idea to.

-Sharz
<33

big chop

A bit of silly-ness, and photos of my NEWLY BC'D HAIR

4/08/2009 10:20:00 PM

me and my best friend Laila doing some "contemporary dance"
Haha...we're silly.

A friend saw us from the third floor window and decided to record us, then edit it, and post it on facebook. Haha...ahh...-embarrassed-

Also, here are ZEE photos!

I was EXTRA tired, so....the photos are a bit rough, but whateves, you get it.