ouijevis //

Sitting here, I know that the expressions I show can change the perception of everything.

I know that if I smile many will assume I am happy, just like if I cry, many will assume I am sad.

And it's weird how you can judge someone from across the room, without even really knowing them, but judging them just because you can.

Cause you can do whatever you want if you put your mind to it?

It's just sad how you can put your mind into judging someone easier than putting your mind to doing something more useful.

Like...

"Fuck whatchya heard, Im the best dancer out here!" Greastest at that, but do you really know anything?

Like...

that prick, the immature son of a real stinkin' raggedy ole' bitch, who is constantly doing different things to piss you off every now and then, however, won't put their mind to work on their slipping grades.

And like that girl who keeps trying to find the best foundation for her troublesome skin, but is behind on her schoolwork...

I don't know if it takes a strong person to overcome these distractions, or if it's the strong people who are being distracted...

I dont even know what I am saying...

All I do know is:

Im coming down with a cold, my throat is sore, im tired, thirsty, and craving waffles.

-SHARIFA C.H

1: STOP PROCRASTINATING

Do things for the now, rather than for the later.

Think about the consequences that procrastinating will give you!

Review your priorities.

Dont think about it as: doing it for someone, or because it is required from you. Think of it as something you need to do in order to HELP YOURSELF. Everything you do in life, is for you.... directly or indirectly.

---

im going to attempt to start my PILE of Photography homework.

Im doing things little by little. Thank God I don't have to go to 1st or second period so I can finish up as much as I possibly can. Even if I half ass it, as long as I fuckin do it. SHIT!!

-sigh-

so much to do, so little time.

it inspired me in some ways, by telling a story of a girl who definitely has it worse than me, yet coming through and even raising her own two children at sixteen. I know, wether I watched the movie or not, that my life isn't the WORST EVER. I have shelter, I have family and friends and education... all these things are being taken for granted.

Even though the poor girl kept being taunted and tortured, she still managed to hold her head up, and try to push all the bad things away...

I went to the doctor today, I registered for a new family doctor... finally, and I told her my home situation and why mental illness was checked off on the paper under 'family sicknesses'

The lady kept going on about how sad my childhood must have been, but thank god I have a grandmother. It is true. My childhood was pretty fucked up. Looking at me, it would be the last thing you'd think of. But I pulled through and pushed them away, sure I cried, and am still crying, a few times a month.... and I wonder why the eff am I on this earth for, really. However, I am still going to pull through, because all these things happen for a reason.

I hope I am my own little success story.

I said yes.

He said it didn't look real..

he seemed as though he was drunk or something so i just ignored him a bit..

then he said I should shave it off...

I got a bit angry... but didnt care cause he was bald and didn't look cute anyway.

--

That was my second encounter with a man on the street at random commenting about my hair, though the first encounter that man said he wanted to be my boyfriend.. i was like.. ---errmmm

This guy said i should shave it off...

wtf?

---

Then probably two or three weeks ago there was a guy, looked around my age or a bit older, he was cute, and he was starring at me and my hair the whole time, and whenever I looked at him he'd look away as if he was nervous or something, but he kept following me... not really following me, but walking close to me and looking.

I don;t know what it is exactly...

Someone told me my hair may make people think I am one of those afrocentric 'power to the people' knowledgable girls, but I can be fun too! Haha...

Oh yeah, I actually had THREE encounters yesterday. My first one was actually in the morning with this guy who came up to me, I was reading a book to make it worse - and the book was about the end of the world and whether it is the end or the beginning TO MAKE IT WORSEx2...

He smiled at me when I looked up at him.. and I smiled cause he wasn't bad looking and I am not a snob...

Him: Good Morning sis.

Me: Hey.... -smile with a tad of awkwardness-

Him: that's your real hair right?

Me: Uh.. yes... -i pull up pieces and show him my scalp... cause i hate getting that question...I GET IT ALOT! -

Him: Haha, I knew it. And you look beautiful if I may add.

Me: -blush,blush- thank you. :)

Him: -hands me a card for some african american egyptian-like black muslims Q&A forum and oils and butters store- and walks away.

---

Ok well I found it funny that he gave me that card cause my dad already had some of the books on the advertisements, I can't wait to show him that I got stopped by one... I sort of been ooking for one of these..

I know.. you probably may not get what I am saying here, but if you grow up in the enviroment I have grown up in since birth you might...

I could tel he was a bit nervous, it was cute but he was probably too old for me anyway. HAHA!

Poor guy, he was flustered.

--

Question: Does it piss you off when guys, or anyone asks you 'is that your hair?'

BlackOnyx on youtube likes it... I dont. you?

Anyway, I got to go fold clothes and do some homework. LOVE YALL!

-monique accent-

It is not much of a situation but, it is a situation of sorts. My situation with the IT.

It and I originally wanted to be friends, however it didn't work out, I knew it would not, and indeed it did not and now we barely talk, we've been not talking for 4 months and barely talking - and when I say barely I mean, ONCE IN A BLUE MOON, for 7 months sort of..

I was watching 'Diary Of A Mad Black Woman' last weekend and it came to the part where the main black girl goes back to her ex-husband when he comes out of the hospital, and she's breaking it to that fooyyyne sexy man she had been engaged to.

SCENE:

-foyyne guy walks to the door

girl: "WAIT!"

foyyne guy: wait? wait what?!, what!? what!? what!? what!?... what do you want from me!? You want me to say "lets be friends??!"

girl: "yes.."

foyyne guy: you don't get it. when you REALLY love someone.. you can't be just friends.

-exit-

SCENE ends.

-------------

Im not saying we loved each other, cause that is extreme, but we both fell very fast into the relationship, and I remember him saying I had him 110%..

which seems fairly close to love no??

Not trying to make myself feel good, Im jut trying to make a point...

So maybe that is why we can't be friends with each other... cause we've just ruined it so much with all that went on... that there's no going back to friendship without any feelings.

feel me?