ouijevis //: blog

TWIST-OUT // SHEA MOISTURE CURL ENHANCING SMOOTHIE

8/23/2013 06:24:00 PM

I am on my way to recovery. I had a very very frustrating and pretty exhausting school year and well... few months in general. It has been a year or so of just LIFE CHANGING experiences. One after another. So, I am working in getting myself back in track in as many ways as I can. Using what I have and doing what I can.

I have to work on my finances. I have to work on my new place of residence because I need space and a place of my own. I have to work on saving up and gettng back my life. Can't let everything else take over my shit anymore.

I'm cuttng nonsense out. As usual.
So I am aimibg for being settled in and have my own place and have everything going good and worked out by August . Obviously if I can get a place and be where I want to be earlier. ..that is also quite nice. However, I need a few things first. Housing is definitely expensive in Toronto. So I can't really get my own place til I aquire a good job. Currently I am working on my smart serve in order to get into the Serving business. Get myself some tip and shit.

Who knows. If I have the tine I may just have 3 jobs! (I am not being serious. .. I mean I will work one job and theb maybe do hair on the side and get some money off of that. Which reminds me: Anyone in the GTA..preferably in the 416 area want to get thier natural hair done...inbox me. Lol)

So yeah. I am starting everything today. I want to keep track of the work I have been doing and I want to make sure I reach my goals in time.

Today I have business to take care of and I am super excited about finishing up this damn Smart Serve. I need to get this shit started!

My hair...

Is a gosh darn mess.
I have been doing wash and go's with Aussie Conditioner. I LOVE AUSSIE so much. However, because I have been financially embarrassed lately...ehem I haven't gotten around to doing reviews or new products or anything. It may take a while for that to happen. I will try to get cheap and effective products and see how it works.

I may go back to braids for a while until I have the finances and the free time to really play in my hair again.

-sigh-

That is all people.

Laters.

"STARTED FROM BOTTOM - haha, I am just kidding I hate that song.."

2/24/2013 11:39:00 PM

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I will start talking about hair and shit

12/23/2012 06:36:00 AM

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Shmolidays

12/30/2010 03:56:00 PM

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. one-hundred and seventy-eight

12/21/2009 12:41:00 PM

I LOVE THIS GUY!!

His youtube: www.youtube.com/ilikejoaquin

His blog: http://sfstateofmind.wordpress.com/

He's sooo great, inspiring and i just love him!!

I am copying and pasting something he's blogged about a while ago that I found SO great, and related to me SO MUCH I couldnt help it.

WATCH HIS VIDS

READ HIS ISHH

Its great... honestly, I can't find other words right now, Im still sort of sick....so words are limited.

----

iljb#77: Getting back to BASICS

December 18, 2009

I guess I had to go through the most fucked up month, endure the most hurtful weeks, and take in the days that came to fully regain a sense of myself – who I was before all this was. Remembering the strength I had before he came a long, before fixed friendships, before family drama, before school hit. Remembering the strength I had is something euphoric right now and I’m trying to basque in its memory.

Remember your worth – I kept reminding myself this all through the summer and all through the beginning of school. Since I’ve forgotten that along the way, I now remember why its important. If he don’t like you, can’t handle “this” thing you’re putting out, can’t hang – then shit wasn’t worth the time in the end. Take it for what it is and move on – remembering your worth before 2009 ends is muy importante.

Courage and strength – Remember that you have a voice and that voice is powerful. No matter what may come your way, stand your ground. If you don’t like it – say something. If you’re sad, pissed, depressed, happy, whatever – DO IT and be proud doing it. Not many people will realize this until later on – but you know it now…remember your courage and strength. YOU ARE SUPERMAN!

Forgive – Whatever happened in the past happened for a reason – move on now because life is to short to be wasting on unhappy thoughts. Remember to attain your goal, you must be happy. But you can’t be happy unless you let go of all those negative nancies. Forgiveness is hard, but truth be told, one who forgives is the happiest of all.

Happiness in me – When it comes down to it, you can only rely on yourself and no one else. You can make yourself sad – but you have the power to make yourself happy. DO JUST THAT – be happy and actually BE happy. Things could be worse. Its in you – you just have to find it again.

The basics…I’m realizing that maybe I was ready to settle down…but I guess it was a good thing that I didn’t. I have so many dreams and goals…that I guess if he ain’t there to witness them then shit…I guess it wasn’t worth it. I’ll be okay…I’m okay. Even though its been only 2 days since I’ve talked to him – its been hard…

Mornings aren’t the same…neither are night times…afternoons are dull…eh…but it goes to show I was dependent on him…I gave it my best 100% and I have no shame.

Lets get back…get it all back…

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. one-hundred and sixty-six (BLOGS)

11/23/2009 10:14:00 PM

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. one-hundred and twenty-one (Old Garbage / Old Treasures haha)

7/02/2009 02:03:00 PM

Look what I found!

I used to blog but I never really understood it as much... so I'd accidentally make a new blog EVERYDAY...thinking that was blogging. LOL.

I AM NOT SELF-CENTRED....I think.....

Aug. 27th, 2008 at 1:24 AM

So i was on the phone with my boyfriend today, and we were just talking and hen kind of out of no where he says, "nothing matters to you but you, all that matters in the world is you. I'm not important, its all about you."
And i was like...
"What? How could you say that?"
And he just kept going about how 'self-centred" i am.
WHICH I AM NOT!
I try my best to make people happy. I mean theres a difference between taking shit and being mannerly and sweet.
So his phone battery died, and he called me back 10 mins later saying "Im calling to make sure your not mad...cause you're important..." and i got even more pissed off and decided to say "Yeah, well i am pissed off, but i dont even want to tell you cause then that would make me sound SELF CENTERED, me telling you whats on my mind is SELF CENTRED! so i dont really feel like talking to you right now, eventhough me saying how i feel is SELF CENTRED, so i'm going to get off the phone....bye."
-beep-

So after that i decided to ask my gandma if im self-centred, and she said YES!

so that got me thinking.....
am i self-centred?

As we know, selfishness and self-centeredness is the root of alcoholism, so says the big book.

But how do you know when you are self centered....how do you tell if you are unconsciously behaving in self or aka "All about me-ness"?

I went on the internet to check and found out that there are 3 ways to tell:

1. Always angry - at everything and everyone. No one has done you right. the world has F* you over again and they can all go to he**.

2. Worried/fearful: What will I lose? What wont I gain that I want? Fear, fear, fear.

3. Always hurting others. Thoughtlessly and apathectically not thinking of anyone else and bestowing hurt upon others.

And i thought about it....

and i think i may be a tad self-centred.
i dont want to be alcoholic. -cries-

So i went on the internet and searched on ways to stop being so "all about me-ish"!!
Although, I don't think of myself as self-centered. When I'm around other people, I generally try to ask them questions about themselves and to talk about topics that are of interest to others. I do enjoy talking about myself and my experiences, but I try not to monopolize conversations.

The thing is, I infrequently forget how other people respond to the questions I ask, and this can be embarrassing.

Here's a recent example: "What did you do on your vacation?" I ask this as part of small talk and then somehow, just a few hours later, I find myself asking again. When the person starts answering, immediately it rings a bell and I realize I had actually heard the answer already. Then I feel like a jerk for having forgotten (and wonder if the other person thinks I'm a jerk, too). Another common example is asking where someone is from and then immediately forgetting...or forgetting that a friend told me he is sick with a cold.

Judging from experience, I think if I were speaking with someone who was a romantic interest, I [would] remember. But even with very close friends, I'll forget things they tell me that I really should remember, like the example above of being sick.

I [want] to pay more attention to what people say to me, and to remember. I just don't know how to make myself pay more attention/not forget.

BUT ANYWAYS:
heres whay i found:
ONE:
When someone says something, repeat it back to them and try to think of a question you are interested in about it. By making yourself repeat the response, and think about it enough to ask a question, you'll commit it to memory better.
1. When Bob says, "I went to Switzerland," try to personalize it by relating it to your life somehow. Hmm. I've never been there. That's where they have the famous Swiss banks. I just saw a documentary about them..." This can help with conversation, too. "Oh, cool, Bob! Did you open an account in a Swiss bank?"

2. This is a bit more extreme, but you could try keeping a journal and writing notes in it after returning from a social event: "Bob went to Switzerland; Amy just got divorced..." You could go over these notes from time to time.

You: "Where did you go on your vacation?"
Joe: "I went to Aruba!"
You: "Aruba? Where on Aruba did you stay?"

TWO:
Don't ask questions unless you're interested in the answers. This should go a long way.

Fight the Good Fight: Small talk stops with you.

THIS IS THE ONE I AM ALWAYS BEING TOLD ABOUT BY MY GRANDMA....

3) Be A Good Host

Whenever you have guests over, be a good host. Make your guests feel as though your home is their home and above all else, make them feel welcomed.

Remember to do the usual - ask if they want a drink, if they'd like to snack on anything, if you can put away their coat. This makes others feel as though you are putting their comfort before your own comfort.

It is that repeated concern for others that people will remember and will help make it less likely they will think of you as being self-centered.

Well, thats about it.
I hope i can do these things, cause im feeling really bad about it, and i dont want friendships lost ver this, and i dont want to lose my boyfriend over this stupid crap either.

thanks for reading.

slates!

SHARZZ

Mood: aggravated

MAYBE I'LL FIND MORE....

PCE,LVE & FRSH AR!

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. eighty-eight (Not Goin' Ta School...)

5/15/2009 08:38:00 AM

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. eighty-two (I Googled "blogging as therapy")

5/04/2009 12:33:00 AM

From goodtherapy.org:

Blogging as therapy

In my comment to Stuart Henshall's post about his decision to pack in blogging I wrote that the main benefit for me from blogging has been the close circle of friends it has given me. I have written in the past about how close that group can feel and how online friendships can feel at least as intimate as face to face ones.

I have in the past had two or three very close friends who I have spent a lot of time with and with whom I feel I can share anything - no matter how long it has been between seeing each other. However I haven't been in touch with those friends for a very long time now and, despite trying, those rewarding face to face friendships haven't transferred easily to online conversations.

I am beginning to feel the absence of this sort of close friendship and the space it affords to sort things out in your head and to have a group of people willing to accept you for what you are and allow you to really open up about what is troubling you.

____________________________________________________________________________________

From abcnews.com:

Blogging: The Group Therapy of the 21st Century?

If you're anxious, depressed or just have a gripe to air, there's a good chance you can log on to the Internet and find countless others just like you writing about their problems in personal blogs.

The Pew Internet and American Life Project estimates 11 million Americans have already created personal Web logs, or blogs, and some 30 million people regularly read them. Bloggers write about everything from their favorite band or what they ate for dinner to discussing politics, infertility or problems in the workplace.

Some bloggers and psychologists say that these online journals are a healthy development -- a 21st century version of group therapy.

_________________________________________________________________________

I don't know...I guess it's right cause, there are a lot of things I blog about but I never say to many people...

It's sort of fun cause ... well just cause. The world always makes people who speak their mind look so bad and mean, but in reality it's just honesty. I have gotten in ish many times in the past for speaking my mind, so blogging helps me do so... without the drama. Sometimes I try not to use names on the internet, cause one time my friend found my blog by typing her name. HAHA. So yeah... I should refrain from fully using the person's name every minute. But that is mostly what some blogs are about. A person's daily adventures and their mishaps and feelings about their day. Some people don't do that, but either way... that what most blogs basically are. One person's personal thought on something, and then they get people who think their thoughts, endeavors, or general life is interesting and follows and comments every now and then. I kind of do think Blogging could be group therapy. For example, my hair journey...

I looked at many blogs to get the information and encouragement I NEEDED to get through my business, and it helped. Not only that, but a lot of people have awesome music...haha. Truth be told, I have Bookmarked some blogs just for their music.

Talking about music....

I edited my playlist, finally... I tried getting some songs from the old playlist.... but couldn't get a hold of them...oh well. Life.

Bom Bom Bom, gotta get that BOM BOM BOM...

That song is the shiz right about now.

I must have been the last to know it was by Black Eyed Peas, but that's alright. Some people are already sick of it...however I am at the "LISTEN TO THIS JAM EVERY MINUTE" phase. Sorry.

I went to a party. It was alright, kinda lame compared to my others...then I went to my mommy's house and took a long walk and swung on the swings =]
LOL.
I haven't swung on a swing for a year, and I haven't swung with my mother since I was probably 5 years old. So it was great day. She made me eggs, which tasted AMAZING. Just right

I'm outy.

s'laters!

<33

-M.M