I have heard many rumours of people telling you things that I have not even said in the event of our break-up. I was looked at as some kind of bad person for only being honest with you and letting you know why I had not wanted a relationship. You say that you thought I would have known you better but it is funny that after I told you about the shelter(although we weren't together, you could have used that against me, I trust you), you stopped talking to me, even though I said that I wanted to be friends. So me not trusting you anymore after you stopped talking to me would be reasonable, but I decided to be mature and let that fact pass.
Now I also hear rumors of how I flirt with Keisha to make you jealous, going behind my back instead of telling me was unexpected, I THOUGHT YOU KNEW ME BETTER. I talk to almost all your friends just fine, what would make me not talk to you, its not like I cheated or had sex with you, we broke up before it got that far, so it shouldn't be that big a deal.
I would have to thank you though for telling me of this person who switches words arounds and tells you messages, now I know to be careful with my 'friends'. I actually said that "it might have been a mistake by Sharifa or one of her friends, or a small rumour", that was all I said. I just hope you know that if you have a problem I am mature enough to handle it face to face, because I hear about randomthings(like Keisha) that you hadn't told me about.
The trip is fun and very eventful, but the showers are cold and some of the trips are boring. try to bathe at night when nobody s in the shower because the water will be hot. Carry a lot of money and a lock, because you have a locker.Expect the unexpected and have FUN.
There were WAY ore people, but this was MY group. (group 5)
Ok, so copy and paste:
SHARI.EBELLE EMANCIPATED: BLOG ON ENCOUNTERS WITH CANADA.
MY COVERAGE OF MY INVOLUNTARY TRIP TO OTTAWA. . .(-sigh-)
Ok, so I was really lazy and tired for the first two days and didn’t feel like documenting A DAMNED THING. However, today, which is officially DAY 2, even though it is 10:34 pm as I type, and bedtime is at 10:40. But I’ll make this quick…
Day 0.5 (??): So, I was almost late, well I felt almost late for my train, however I wasn’t and I got there maybe fifteen minutes early and my partner was second in line, so I got to “butt” everyone else. (haha). So I get on the wrong car…I got on car 6 with my partner, however my car was 3. So I had to walk back to car 3...before the train started to head to the dusty trail…
Train ride = boring and nerve-racking. Staying in one place is a little difficult.
Got to Ottawa, my partner and I were lost, alone and clueless.
Are names were called on the P.A, we were still scared and confused…
We found our person and got on a small bus.
Got to the place….and ate, played ice breaker games and went to bed.
Day 1: Went to parliament (I took photos =] ) and yeah, I participated in an AFRICAN DANCE(or African Ballet) workshop. Which was… um. Interesting. I actually really liked it, and I am sort of interested and wishing that we had a class in school for it.
Day 2 : (today…the day I am typing…) I woke up….
Made friends, finally. One from Alberta and another from British Columbia…and now I don’t feel so alone. We were visited by guest speakers, one was an entertainer and the other (we got to chose, and I chose…) an Assistant Manager for Ottawa Life magazine. Which was GREAT and very informational. Wow, its 10:43 and they haven’t turned off the lights as yet, sweet! Anyway, so after all that we went to the Museum and learned about the First Nation peoples, and more about Canada.
One minute till Lights out.
But, we saw a movie at IMAX called The Alps, which was very INTENSE.
Yes…
I need to go now, so I’ll get back to this.
By the way, my favourite song right about now, is THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY by JOHNTA AUSTIN.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Day 3: Hey! Just in my room, it is 6:11 pm and just finished supper and awaiting the time where all the kids divide into their provinces and creates skits that present their provinces in various ways. Yay.
So today was pretty fun. Woke up at 6:52am took a pretty relaxing shower, compared to the morning of day 2, also we went to Glebe High School which is possibly, if not, the largest school in Ottawa or Canada…not sure which is which. We watched two (out of some other selections) Canadian films, one named The Red Violin and another named The Rocket, which I fell asleep for the first half.
Afterwards we met with the directors and co-stars and met a Canadian film critic who talked to us about his occupation for a bit, then we got to write a review on one of the two films we watched.
Here’s my review on The Red Violin if anyone’s interested:
SHARIFA’S REVIEW ON: THE RED VIOLIN:
***** (5 stars)
The movie, The Red Violin, was so intense, amazingly written, and the acting was so talented thatI forgot it was a Canadian film.
Besides the fact that Samuel L. Jackson co-starred, the acting was exceptional. The original score is worth an OST download or buy, I know I am going to try searching it up. I personally love the violin, and the score throughout the film was beautiful. As for the storyline and plot, The Red Violin had a great story behind the great acting and beautiful O.S.T. The story was basically a motioned biography of a fictional violin, named “THE RED VIOLIN” which goes through generations and generations.
The film was intense, due to the dramatic atmosphere it made and even though there were subtitles it was still worth the time to read and get captivated in. The film was never boring, since it never dragged on for longer than needed or appreciated, and there were a lot of twists and turns which were unexpected.
Overall, it was a great Canadian film that, I believe, should be shared throughout North America and possibly, the rest of the world. The Red Violin deserves a wider audience.
Done. (short, I know…)
So It is now 6:40pm…
They are calling down provinces, however Ontario hasn’t been called as yet. My laptop’s battery is really unreliable and it is slowly dying, but that’s quite alright right about now.
The trip is going okay, though I am not used to not having a group of friends around me, it is kind of relaxing. I always wanted to know what it was like to only have one or three friends at most.
It feels odd.
I cannot wait to go home and share A LOAD of laughs about things that don’t make sense to other people. I guess, being in a different city surrounded by people you don’t know, makes you realize just HOW MUCH you really love everything about your city, your friends, your family and your community. Honestly, I am getting city-sick. Not quite home sick, but CITY-SICK, because I miss Toronto, a lot.
I gotta go to the cafeteria now….
Laters! =]
-----
Okay, so that was fun, it is 10:00 pm exactly, and I have just come back from doing skits and watching skits, singing oh Canada, and saying my name and city in front of a camera….
It was mega fun, I got into some photos, made new acquaintances and did a lot of laughing.
I enjoyed it.
Maybe it’ll just get better and better, maybe not…all I know is today was really great, and people were less snobby and more talkative and friendly. I am having a good time, but not enough of a good time to NOT WANT to go home. If you get what I’m saying.
I am drinking purple crush and I finished a Nerd Rope….even though I seem to have a huge pimple on my face…I will take this opportunity to max out on junk. I used up my phone card, I think . I may try it again tomorrow, since I do not think I have much time right now.
I am currently listening to Violet Hill by Coldplay. I think I’ll sleep pretty well tonight, since I’m already tired. This is going to be one looooong blog post when I get back. Sorry I didn’t post daily, its just the INTERNET café is pretty intimate, and I sometimes feel odd when people discover my blog…..
I miss my home.
S’later! <3
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DAY 4:
In brief, we woke up, I went to Carlton U to learn about their campus and journalism program, and then we went to see a play named DOUBT. Which was a about a priest being accused of molesting a little negro boy (the only one) at a private catholic school in the Bronx.
It was really good and we had a Q+A session.
I quickly checked my blog today, and saw 32 “Followers” thanks a bunch , it feels good to have people read and give feedback. Not just “follow” and not ever say one thing here.
---------------------
LAST DAY!!
In brief (and this isn't copy and paste), it was amazing, we had a DANCE and I DJ'd and it was frustrating but AWESOME at the same time.
I quickly checked my blog today, and saw 32 “Followers” thanks a bunch , it feels good to have people read and give feedback. Not just “follow” and not ever say one thing here.
---------------------
LAST DAY!!
In brief (and this isn't copy and paste), it was amazing, we had a DANCE and I DJ'd and it was frustrating but AWESOME at the same time.
Afterwards some groups left early to catch flights and around 5 of us stayed up, all night played pictionary and talked about funny interessting things. Trying to cleanse the doors of our perceptions by depriving ourselves from sleep.
Got to the train station at around 10:45am
Train left at 12:45pm (sigh)
fell asleep for 1 hour and 20 min. so I failed the cleansing process.
Arrived in Toronto at 5:07pm
THE EXPERIENCE WAS TRES FUN!!
I will post photos up later on today or tomorrow, I am really tired right now... seriously.
glad to be home!
slater!!
-Sharz! <33
GOODBYE T.DOT!I am off to Ottawa tomorrow afternoon, and I have not packed, and I do no know how to get the the train station.
-sigh-
I should really get to packing now. My train leaves at 12:10pm. However the train as WiFi connection, so I can document my trip. Too bad Ottawa is BORING.
Honestly like: B-O-R-I-N-GEEE
I was chosen by some teachers (along with another kid, and my exboyfriend) to go, for some youth leaders stuff. Just meeting other student across the country and chill / tour.
My week is thankfully the week of Journalism and Communication.
Since, believe it or not (you may not realize it through my crappy typing) I want to go into the Journalism field.
I'll take pictures and shiz, it'll be like YOU are there with me.
=]
Anywhozzles.
I havent replied to the dude yet, Im going to confront him about this FACE TO FACE.
MAN TO MAN.
errm.
MAN TO WOMAN...
We are BOTH mature individuals, though he may be a little more mature than me at times...but I am more mature than him sometimes too...
whatever. its goins down.
BIG CHOP has been switched from the 23rd to the 19th.
OMG DUUUDES!!!
I am so losing my mind right about know...
I Want You - Fefe Dobson
FEFE DOBSON SHALL MAKE A COMEBACK...
I haven't heard it yet either, this is my first time.
Ok. I'm going to pack...
<333
-Sharz
Your thoughts?
(though you don't really know the whole story)
He really turned the whole subject arounf on me here, I was not leaning towards this.
As you may or may not know, i have had some thing sto say to a certain someone and haven't said it.
So this afternoon, while in the library, I wrote him a message, because apparently he thinks i am going around telling people a bunch of shit. Which I am not.
Since he's in Ottawa right now...I decided to send him this message on facebook to read when he gets back:
Hey.
While you were gone, I heard (from a source that will remain unnamed) that you thought (or were definite) that I was the one who told Ms Lomas about the thingy.
I didn’t, and it makes me feel pretty cruddy to have you think that way. The person who told me wanted to confront you about it alone, having me not need to talk to you myself. However, I have decided that I’d prefer to tell you myself, because getting others involved only creates more confusion...as you already know.
So here is my theory on How Ms. Lomas found out:
Before I begin, I want to make it known to you (even though, you probably don’t even care) that I don’t ‘hate’ you. I understand how that could lead you to believe that I told Ms Lomas not to get you. However, I wouldn’t go and tell Ms Lomas some stuff that would stop you from joining us in the trip to Ottawa, even if I did ‘hate’ you, I wouldn’t do such a terrible thing. In fact, believe it or not, I was the one who suggested she go get you.
Shocked? I know. Turns out, I am not as big of a Bitch as you would like to believe I am. Sorry to disappoint you Devaun.
So yeah, I will admit, I DID tell 2 teachers, 1 Guidance and 1 CYW.
How did this happen?
Ms. Sarellas because, during the time we were together, I asked her something that was really bothering me, and I couldn’t quite tell anyone else, because. Well I don’t really know. But whatever, she brought in Ms. Murphy to see her opinion on it, and I allowed it cause, I wanted to know her opinion as well. Anyway, so after we weren’t together anymore she approached me and asked “How are things with you and ...” and I answered the obvious answer. And YES I may have elaborated. But I trusted her with that information.
Ms. Murphy because, one day I was really ticked off about something, and I couldn’t find Ms. Sarellas, so I went to Murphy. If I didn’t talk about this with someone WAY more mature than my friends(especially laila..), I would surely have ended up beating a certain person up. Not you, but it had to do with you . So she gave me a bit a guidance there, and let me vent off to her and I was a tad more calm. Even though i almost threw a chair at Christina’s boyfriend that same day.
.... long story.
My CYW because, she’s my CYW. I am allowed to tell her these things right? Yeah, so I obviously vented to her about a lot of things.
Ms. Orsini. This was the most recent,(all the other ones were like before holidays) I actually had this conversation with her a week before Student Council took over announcements.
She saw me and asked me to come see her a little after third period. So I go see her and she is asking me if it would be okay to have a Male voice on the Announcements, basically suggesting I FIRE Laila. So i say “Sure no problem, It really doesn’t matter.”
“What about Devaun? I know you two are close friends, and you could discuss it with him, and he’d love to join you right?”
“Uh. I guess, but me and him don’t really speak anymore, but I will still run it by him, he’s in my fourth period class so...”
“oh, right. You two used to date ... well I don’t want to put you in that situation and make it uncomfortable for you.”
“Oh, no it’s okay. I’m sure it’s not much of an issue...I can deal with it.”
“No. No. We will have to think of someone else....hm. “
The rest of the conversation is not about you so...moving on.
So I think Ms Lomas found out through Ms Orsini. Ms Sarellas said she found out through Gr. 9s. Ms Murphy said “Oh really?! I didn’t know...” but I had a feeling she knew. Ms. Orsini, already knew as well...and I don’t know how, probably word of mouth as well. Ms. Lomas is out of the loop, so i am sure someone had to inform her.
-sigh-
So there is my theory.
I’m sorry if you thought I was an asshole and told Ms Lomas to avoid going to you or something, cause I really didn’t. I am not like that at all. I thought you, out of all people, would know that, but I guess I was wrong. You really don’t know me AT ALL.
P.S
I don't Hate you. I don't bad mouth you & try to tarnish your image.
I’ve heard that you think I do. Which I don’t, by the way...
I'm not talking to you because, as much as I don't even want to have to share this with you, I know it MUST be done in order to get things at least A LITTLE cleared up (arrg, I'm going to be SO angry when I send this, besides I have written this 5 times already, cause my computer is GAY).
I really don’t know.... you kind of stopped talking to me first, so I felt that you didn’t want to talk to me at all. So, I decided to not talk to you too. Besides that, you did something that really ticked me off, and I couldn’t confront you about it, so in frustration I decided to childishly stop talking to you.
I’m SO EXTREMELY over it now though, i mean...Its ridiculous how OVER it I really am.
But yeah, I really wouldn't mind just staying friends with you, I don't know about you, but I'm not holding any grudges. This isn’t me desperately trying to be friends with you either, cause I have a little TOO many friends, and sometimes I wish I didn’t have so many...(especially when Bday parties come around...oh god.). I just wanted you to know at AT LEAST 5% of whats going on. I would tell you face to face, honestly, i hate sending messages....But, I thought this was the safest way of saying what’s on my mind, without saying too much...cause I tend to ramble, like I am sort of doing now.
If you feel like you might want to talk about this some more and know the other 95%, it’s all good, I’ll talk about it. If you still don’t want to talk to me, it’s all good...I mean, I’m just glad I got this out of my system.
So...yeah.
I’m gonna go now...
Hope you had a great trip!
=]
-Sharifa.
I did it.And I honestly did'nt even give a damn. I really was just like "SEND" and didn't even think
about anything but the fact that I would feel so much better know that he knows 5% of the truth.
I feel a lot better.
OH MY GOSH.
Im nearing my BC and I'm kind of scared...But I have searched more and more naturals in the BIZ to kep me a bit more motivated.
Geez. The suspense is killing me.
<33 style="width: 300px;">
Lady (Hear Me Tonight) - Modjo
ANOTHER FEEL GOOD SONG!!
climax
Nadir (The Climax) - A True Thought (not a true story) [EXPLICIT LANGUAGE...as usual.]
3/04/2009 11:44:00 PMFaced with two decisions...
She has to decide.
Morals and Temptation do not always coincide
Love and Lust are often easily mixed up,
You don't always know, what is underneath the cup.
She tries to find her way between wrong and right.
No answer in sight.
He makes it so hard to hold back.
Showering her with gifts...
Popping the gums about having his first child...
She doesn't realize he never speaks about marriage.
Just child baring.
His first child...
What does that mean? No, Really..
However she is already in his house,
and he is getting touchy feely.
Making remarks that consist of the vastness of her beauty.
The softness of her skin.
The perfection of her body.
The way he feels right at that very moment...
What he wants to do, instead of say...
Love has two meanings...
I Love You.
I Love You.
Which is which?
but they are both quite the bitch.
She has fallen into his trap...
The Threshold of Desire has been stepped over.
And he took her.
She knew deep down in her gut, that it was wrong..
she thought she wanted him.
Though She thought she wanted him to take to to "new heights" as he had promised her.
He brought her to brand new lows.
At it for hours, on and off, he did it mercilessly.
Crying of pains.
Pains as a plural.
Pain from the intake.
Pain from the Heartbreak.
Pain from the shame that creeped up in the depths of her body and made her shudder and her eyes widening with fear.
What has she done?
She promised herself, to keep herself.
Save herself for the right one.
The one who deserved it most.
The one she would be in love with, rather than in lust.
It was too late.
It was done.
She felt it inside her..
she could swear she felt every fact she had learnt in health class happen inside her body.
Thats right.
You're really getting FUCKED now.
You thought you were getting FUCKED before, but it just got WORSE.
You can't ever go back.
You can only go forward..
where you will be faced with another decision.
In another Nadir.
More pain.
More fear.
It's part of life my dear...
No use in praying...
E for Effort though.
And those who are typical may call you a Hoe.
"Why she gotta go 'round fuckin men Fo'?"
Little do they know...
She has to decide.
Morals and Temptation do not always coincide
Love and Lust are often easily mixed up,
You don't always know, what is underneath the cup.
She tries to find her way between wrong and right.
No answer in sight.
He makes it so hard to hold back.
Showering her with gifts...
Popping the gums about having his first child...
She doesn't realize he never speaks about marriage.
Just child baring.
His first child...
What does that mean? No, Really..
However she is already in his house,
and he is getting touchy feely.
Making remarks that consist of the vastness of her beauty.
The softness of her skin.
The perfection of her body.
The way he feels right at that very moment...
What he wants to do, instead of say...
Love has two meanings...
I Love You.
I Love You.
Which is which?
but they are both quite the bitch.
She has fallen into his trap...
The Threshold of Desire has been stepped over.
And he took her.
She knew deep down in her gut, that it was wrong..
she thought she wanted him.
Though She thought she wanted him to take to to "new heights" as he had promised her.
He brought her to brand new lows.
At it for hours, on and off, he did it mercilessly.
Crying of pains.
Pains as a plural.
Pain from the intake.
Pain from the Heartbreak.
Pain from the shame that creeped up in the depths of her body and made her shudder and her eyes widening with fear.
What has she done?
She promised herself, to keep herself.
Save herself for the right one.
The one who deserved it most.
The one she would be in love with, rather than in lust.
It was too late.
It was done.
She felt it inside her..
she could swear she felt every fact she had learnt in health class happen inside her body.
Thats right.
You're really getting FUCKED now.
You thought you were getting FUCKED before, but it just got WORSE.
You can't ever go back.
You can only go forward..
where you will be faced with another decision.
In another Nadir.
More pain.
More fear.
It's part of life my dear...
No use in praying...
E for Effort though.
And those who are typical may call you a Hoe.
"Why she gotta go 'round fuckin men Fo'?"
Little do they know...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
that was an atempt at a poem..that turned into a short story some how....then turned back into a poem? WTF. Well yeah, this hasn't happened to me by the way. I AM INDEED STILL A VIRGIN.
p.s
(listen to : Sex Is On Fire by Kings Of Leon -love that song...)
Sex On Fire - Kings Of Leon
OH Right and uh, 26 ''followers'' thanks people. You really don't have to....seriously.
Also, i do check on ALL those blogs you see down there. Haha. Just I don't always (i rarely ever) comment, cause I don't always (feel like typing) have something to say.
But yeah. Those blogs DO get read. Not right away, but they all EVENTUALLY do.
Even at school in the library or during Religion Arts Class (we use computers with internet..dont ask), So i literally have the whole day to get to them.
<33
-Sharz.
p.s
(listen to : Sex Is On Fire by Kings Of Leon -love that song...)
Sex On Fire - Kings Of Leon
OH Right and uh, 26 ''followers'' thanks people. You really don't have to....seriously.
Also, i do check on ALL those blogs you see down there. Haha. Just I don't always (i rarely ever) comment, cause I don't always (feel like typing) have something to say.
But yeah. Those blogs DO get read. Not right away, but they all EVENTUALLY do.
Even at school in the library or during Religion Arts Class (we use computers with internet..dont ask), So i literally have the whole day to get to them.
<33
-Sharz.