Biggest headache ever...
My positivity project kind of ...went a bit...left but I got back on it!
Always going to hit bumps in the road, but I found ways to keep my head up and keep being positive no matter who is trying to disrespect or disregard me. I gave myself 60days to not only get my weight back...
But get some of my shape (if not all of it ) back. I went HAM on myself yesterday and today my body is aching SUPER hard. I cant...do...anything. ..
I just need to get a whole lot of protein in my body and recoup. So I can get back on it tomorrow. I technically walked uphill for 50mins today...so that can go towards my daily workout. Lmao.
I was in SO MUCH pain when I got in.
Going to try different avenues for my fitness though. I am sorta BROKE..so can't really make it to the gym kr anything. However, where there is a will there is a way. I already see some improvement anyhow.
I realized that the key to gaining weight is to eat a lot more calories than the average person. .
I know what your thinking.
You're looking at me like: "well, uhh DUh! How did you NOT figure that out!?"
Well because I have been eating in portions to maintain a 118 body...that it has become a habit not to overindulge. Like I used to in high school and elementary.
But it looks like I need to get back on it.
At least to a degree.
Im pumped and ready to go though!
I set my end date and prepared my goals and notes in my phone and on my calendar so its all in front of me..
Thus very hard to avoid and forget.
Let's do this shit!
Alright headache is killing me..so I'm going to relax.
I have a huge headache. I had a bad start to the week and it just had gotten worse til 6PM.
Cracked my phone's screen. Financial issues. School issues - none having to do with my actual academics - thankfully.. Family issues - if you read further back in this blog you will see that, my home life is always annoying as all shit. A whole bunch of issues, a lot of which are not being mentioned today, cause well - I have a damn headache and can't be bothered. The only good thing that really came out of this day was getting a job interview for Thursday Morning. I am putting all my effort into getting a job...cause unfortunately that is the root to most of my problems.
So, yeah all this negativity surrounding me and all this depression had me feeling really down and out about my life. So - I decided I would work towards positive vibes...as in ACTUALLY work ACTIVELY towards these vibes. Not just think happy thoughts. Thinking happy thoughts alone - though it is a start - doesn't really get me anywhere. I have to be DOING things I really enjoy and participating in things that make me happy. A lot of the things that usually make me happy are very out of reach...thus I have to find new ways to effectively feel better. So I thought - whatever sure, i will blog about it - at least as a way to keep tabs on myself you know?
S, first thing is first I made a list of everything I appreciate in life. The things that make me happy. The things that bring me joy, the things that relax me...
Here is a little bit from my list of things:
Other than that, I am incredibly tired and ready for bed now. I had a telephone interview with H&M last week Wednesday, so if all goes well, I may get an e-mail from them as well, however I am not having high expectations or anything. Every time I hype up an interview I had, it never turns out the way I had thought so... I will just have no comment. Plan for the morning is to wake up and do my laundry - make some food and keep applying to new jobs on the daily.
Every time I feel negativity or painful thoughts I will go back to my list of happy things and think about them, meditate on them and block out anything and everything else around me with the love and appreciation I have for everything I had mentioned.
Review the things that make me happy every morning when you wake up and right before bed.
I remember when I was in Elementary - I was a very God Fearing young girl who prayed every night before bed - I remember that every time I prayed, before I asked for anything I made sure to be thankful of what I had already and thankful for even the smallest positivity I had throughout the day. Think of it like that. If you aren't religious, just think on those things - and if you are religious - I feel like that was a very good practice, that keeps you humble and down to earth about what reality is and what you need, want, and have.
ANYWAY.. I will be back with STEP 2 soon enough!
From ScHoolboy Q's Habits and Contradictions
Meh this is all I got for a desk for now in my tiny ass room. So..
Working with it.
Wish I had a real ass desk though...
Drinking a frozen fruits, banana, soy milk and vanilla smoothie sweetened with condensed milk.
Tasted so giod that I made it twice.
Now I remember why I stopped talking to you.
(phtoto From the PORTRAITS series by GLAMADOLLS.)
If you follow ya girl on instagram and tumblr you will see the process from start to finito!
For 3 days straight now I have been wondering whether or not I should give myself Havana Twists, get a wig or just wear my hair out!! I have been so lazy and my hair is SO THICK I haven't been taking the time to style it. i have been wearing turbans for a week. No maintenance at all. It sucks. So I have been looking all over the internets in order to figure out what I want to do with my hair!! I have been looking at Havana's cause they seem the easiest to do - without having to pay someone else to do it - and its within my Student Life Budget! so - I have been thinking on it. I have been thinking long and hard for 4 days. I may even come to a decision!The best technique that I found was actually from a vlogger by the account of: GodCallsMeBeloved - I always found it so hard to figure out the situation of how to get it to work for me. So her tutorial was the best for my comprehension of the Havana Twists situation. Maybe I will find out my technique on the way and do a video.
I am also thinking about doing protective styles for the rest of the damn year. Document the process - and the growth. I need to have my hair off my to-do list for a while. That's all. My hair grew a lot when I always out braids in my hair every couple months. So I may just need to do that again.
I will let you know - obviously....
From the Bat For Lashes album: The Haunted Man
I was with a friend the other afternoon and we were talking and perusing the mall, when she had told me that she had bought a pair of VS athletic shorts for 50$..because she was pressured by a friend (who I used to be friends with - so I could totally understand what she was saying). She had said that whenever they go out to the mall all together, this friend always makes her feel cheap because she is always splurging on really expensive things like MK, Juicy Couture, Burberry and the like..so my friend was feeling pressured to also buy something that was pretty expensive and a waste of her cash just so she wouldn't feel so sub-par. I know how she feels because...well I used to be in the same situation. I was barely pressured to buy - but I would definitely feel very cheap. I didn't bother saying much other than: "I understand, cause I have been there too.". My friend wanted to return the shorts (which I guess she did Saturday, since she wanted to do it ASAP)...
I know that it isn't as easy as saying "I don't like going out shopping with her because of X, Y &Z", but it isn't healthy if you have a "friend" who makes you feel cheap. It's either you are jealous or they are overdoing it. & I know she isn't jealous, I have been there and I know that due to this person's insecurities - she tends to overcompensate with her lux garments and lux life that she seems to be living. I just feel somewhat sorry for those people who can no longer love themselves enough to do what they want without making others feel worthless. But I guess the saying is: "Turn Down For WHAAA?!" ..or something?
Well, conspicuous consumption will do that to you... sometimes if you can't see through it you end up feeling "basic" beside someone like that. However, I can see right through it...and thus, I was never pressured that much.
Just had to get that off my chest.
I am at it again.
I made this because, when I was younger I remembered that I used to love slapping condensed milk onto my grapefruit chunks and eating it as a snack. Sounds kinda gross, I know - but tastes super good! Haha. So here's the details on that:
WHAT YOU NEED:
A big juicy grapefruit.
Vanilla Flavoured Nutrament (or soy milk, or ensure or boost....)
A blender or a Magic Bullet .
Cut the Grapefruit in half and scoop out the flesh and throw the flesh into the blender or bullet.
Add your desired amount of Vanilla flavoured Nutrament or Milky goodness.
BLEND IT UP.
Then add desired amount of condensed milk and 3 drops of vanilla extract.
Mix it together and then serve!
HERE IS A VIDEO OF THE PROCESS IF YOU ARE A VISUAL LEARNER LIKE I AM!!
Hope you enjoy the drink you made!
It's super easy and inexpensive to make, so it totally fits into the student budget.
Also, NUTRAMENT is a vitamin-y drink - you know a skimmed milk drink that contains vitamins and minerals. Along the lines of Boost and Ensure - so it's also pretty great for your health as well. So try it in the morning with breakfast or on the go in the middle of the day!
Sometimes I bounce between one genre to another and some artists to others... I always tend to revisit them later for nostalgic purposes - or I just heard they have new music. I have always had Bat For Lashes in my iTunes and iPod. Whether I will be listening to the music often, I make sure I have my favourite songs in there. So today I revisited
If you like artists like Coldplay, Radiohead, Bjork, Cat Power, Annie Lennox and the like - you will quite possibly fall in love with BFL. Cause... I love Bjork ...and I would definitely put these two in a playlist together.
What I am listening to right now from the new album?
I will be grabbing this new album for sure.
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Thrifted belt: 10$
Cannot remember the sunnies, but I know I got them from Little Burgundy.
And New lipliner was 3.99 at the superstore from some brand called Milani?