Maybe I should quit trying to figure things out about the past.

I should probably quit trying to find time or opportunities to make things better, and instead of finding the opportunities and thinking about using the time wisely to resolve and instead - just leave it alone.

I am a person that naturally likes to resolve my issues with people, I hate holding grudges and I hate hating people. But sometimes, I should just let go of it and stop wasting my time trying to figure out the REAL reason and the REAL answers to the questions:

Why?

What happened?

When did it happen?

How did it happen?

Honestly...

I need to just move on.

Officially.

I mean, my friend likes to say that "you need to find closure" but, maybe if you can't find closure you should just find escape.

Escape from what hurts the most, it may find cowardly, but if there really is nothing you can do about it... it's time to take out the fuckin raft and boogie, right?

But I always think I have moved on...I believe I have.

I've been on my raft trying to find a new island to rest my feet on, but I've been just floating in the ocean finding no land, no boats, no ships, a few yachts, but they look too good to hop on.

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I find the best feeling is to be around friends, friends that are whole heartedly there for me, and would never do anything to make me feel or think about the pain ever again. I noticed today that a few of those friends were most noticeable today. C.T, A.N and a little bit of N.C

It was very reassuring to know I had a few friends around that didn't make me feel different about my raft journey. In fact one even made light of the situation and laughed with me a bit about the island's new inhabitant.

Today I really took in how valuable my friends are, and I almost doubted all of them last year...

They all bring a bit of something to the table, and even though I may loose contact with a few of them... I'll remember all they did for me during the time we actually had together.

Hmm.

I always try not to say certain things, or expose certain people on this blog, mostly because some people may be aware of this blog I got here, so I refrain from naming names, and being specific. BUT hopefully you get what I am saying.

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We can talk about "a boat" I'm seeing right now, not really seeing, but considering all because I'm through with not taking risks, I mean I already know that nothing is set in stone ever so might as well I milk the opportunities I get right? Right.

So this boat is all good, how ever I am having problems trusting it because it has some baggage on it that I am not really into. I mean the boat claims to be empty, but I have seen that baggage before and I am not feeling too sure about accepting the boat's attempt to help me.

Question is...

should I just see where it goes, even if that extra baggage may drown us both, but kill me - since I am human and the boat, well the boat is a boat. You get me?

(F.Y.I: This posts was mostly about males, being represented by islands and boats.)

s'later! :)