. one-hundred and thirty-seven

8/05/2009 11:33:00 AM

For someone who is about to have a 17th birthday in FIVE days, I feel very down and out. I'm just not even here nowadays.


I don't know...

I don't if it's my period, or my life, or the fact that i lost all my expensive belongings... maybe it's all of them. I guess I just have to cheer up some how and forget about it.

UGH.

I don't know, I want to enjoy my birthday...
I don't want to be sad, depressed and miserable.

Fuck.

Somehow, I know... nothing is going to surprise me or make me happy on my birthday.

I just kind of want to be alone.
Well, not on my birthday. But for now I would like to be alone and away from everyone.
I just feel like I'm through with making people happy, in return for nothing, and if it IS something, it's dissapointment. I get dissapointed that those people don't value me and just end up using me or just being inconsiderate.

Example...

One of my 'friends' wanted to share her birthday with me, since our birthdays are basically in the same week and whatnot. Get this straight, SHE ASKED ME to do it, I wasn't going to... but she asked me. So i said sure. Next thing I know... this happends:

L.B(another 'friend') :

uhh sharz...how do i make an event for sadafs surprise b-day party??

ME:
aww but i thought me and sadaf were going to do our bdays
together
besides you go on events and then i think you click, create your own event

So whatever, she makes the event on Facebook:

S.B'S WILD S.B-A-LICIOUS PARTY!

because she's a silly goose and forced me to do this SURPRISE ting:P
Host:
Type:
Party - Birthday Party
Network:
Global
Date:
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Time:
8:00pm - 10:00pm
Location:
Outside Cristie Station.
Street:
693 Bloor St. W. 2nd Floor. XXX XXXXXXXXX

Description

Hey hoes,

Since we all love Sadaf ever so, I would encourage you all to get ur asses to " XO Karaoke Bar," on: Wednesday August 12th 2009. Located Ouside Cristie Station. Don't be a cheap ass- I know theres a recession, "whatchu want dog tryin to stay recession free''(LOLZ quote- Kanye West in "EGO''...u suck if u didn't know that) harharhaaaa. Please bring a gift, something cute and from the HEART ( LIKE THE PURSE I MADE FOR PAULA♥ ) But Sadaf doesnt really appreciate hand-made confections, so buy some shit-preferably PINK.

The place costs a MERE $40 per hour. And whats 40 divided by 10??? FOUR!!!! wait fuck, thats wrong, let me check .....
......
.........
....
........it IS FOUR! WOW I JUST IMPRESSED MYSELF! AND MOST LIKELY WHOEVERS READING THIS! :O

anyhow, bring 8 bucks, cuz we're gonna wanna stay 2 hours or as long as it takes us to lose our voices.=)

P.S. Theres a really cute restaurant below the Karakoe place, just incase anyone gets the nibbles.

btw..theres ALSO and LCBO in the K-Bar, and they're soft when it comes to ID;) So we's about to get CRUNKKKEEDD!!! jksssss;)

BE THERE OR BE AN EFFING SQUARE!

-----------------------

And no one replies to my question, about me and her sharing our party for days. Until I tell another one of my friends that i'm bummed because of the situation, I guess she told S.B and then S.B said this to me on facebook:

S.B:

your not on msn so i cant tell u .. but i hate the group laila made for me... I JUST HATE IT :(

Sun at 11:34pm · · · See Wall-to-Wall
When, it fully says that the "surprise" party was HER idea!! So, I don't know what to say about it. I ignored the comment, and didn't even reply back cause I didn't even know what to say, I was sooo annoyed and pissed off. She singlehandedly ruined my seventeenth birthday. So I'm pissed. I'm still trying to ignore it. And there isn't anything I can do now, cause every one knows about HER party, and if I make an event now, no one may come since they're so close together and no one has that kind of money to travel around all the time. So I guess that is what bummed me out. That for once in my life, someone has ruined my birthday, one of the happiest yearly events of my life.... and it was one of my good friends.
I kind of don't even want to go to the party of hers, but Ill manage to go anyway. Even though she killed my birthday spirit.

PCE, LVE, &Fresh Air

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