. one-hundred and ten ("humility is so 2008")

6/11/2009 10:55:00 AM

"If you're good at something, why be modest about it. I mean if I'm good at sports, then whats the point of being like 'good game guys yeah... good effort'. NO I'm gonna be like 'YOU LOST'!!"

Says Kiefer, a student in my religion class. 

I'm in religion right now. Trying to type and not get caught.
I don't want to type and have people passing by my computer either, and be watching my shiz. People keep coming up behind me and gently touching my fro. Fo' realz.

Anyway. I'm here and I'm bored. I have nothing else to do, I'm done doing the assignment I was supposed to do. And I'm reading other blogs today and I stumbled upon some really good posts this morning. One by http://naturalhairrules.blogspot.com

" Excuse Me, Has my natural offended you, has it questioned your authenticity? Has this beautiful crown caused you to bow to its glory?

No?! Then why do you feel the need to explain yourself; make excuse as to why you too are not natural.

This journey is a test of the triune being that brings a higher sense of self; exposing all hidden fears.

So I’ll ask again! Has my natural offended you? What God creates is good and His Righteousness prepares a path of favor and prosperity.

If my natural has offended you; I make no apologizes for I have been delivered from other opinions of me. No longer will I accept the paragon of straight-haired beauty.

My natural transcends all definitions of beauty. It has provide me with the to tool to be me, uniquely.

I will no longer be swayed by the fallacies that natural is ugly and unprofessional. I will learn to be the Queen I was created to be; chemical free. Naked and unchanged.

If my natural offends you; take the time to examine self because I was created in His image. "

This kind of got me thinking, about how extremely true that shit all is. Like double-u tee efferz. As soon as you have natural hair, permed people start defending their perms. When you aren't really doing anything by being natural, you are just being you "uniquely" and to the fullest degree of authentic-ness. Which brings me to what Kiefer said this morning in religion class (im at home now, cause I decided to do the rest of this post at home, kept getting interrupted), about not hiding your good qualities, and just embracing them. I mean, when I cut off my perm I acted like the SHIT, I still kinda do. I always find it hard to just be like "Oh thanks" when someone says "i love your hair"

When my hair was permed and people said that i'd say "thank you" but in a really shy way and not sure of how serious they were. However nowadays when people say they like my hair I'm thinking to myself 'DAMN MUHFKN RIGHT you do!...BITCH!' yeah. I still say "Oh Thanks" but with a huge smile on my face. I'm always happy that I can embrace this hair and people still like my style, appearance and so on. I mean, it wouldn't have mattered either way, I still would have been happy. However, now i'm EXTRA happy. Thats all.

So I guess Modesty is out, and being vocally aware of your good traits and qualities are IN. Thanks to people like Kanye West i guess. Haha. I was actually on Erykah Badu's myspace (yeah yeah, thats right) and she even said it herself 
"Humility is sooo 2008." 
My father has been laid off of his job as an electrician. Great. (sarcasm) and there goes me ever relying on him for cash. Life's a real birch right now. I'm still looking for a job though. I really hope I get one. I still haven't applied for McDonalds yet, but I will this Friday for sure. FOR SURE! 

I realized that I barely pray anymore. I feel like it won't help, I mean sometimes I do pray, it's just i really don't do as much as I used to when i was a kid. I believed that prayer was the answer to every single little thing. And now, I feel as if it's all just a waste. How do I know that someone is even listening, that is just it... I DONT. Sometimes I think that people put all their faith into a religion, especially when they face hard times, in order for them to retrieve a drive.
I say this because, I find it the oddest that you can be down in the slumps and them all of a sudden believe in an Element of someone's "divinely inspirited" text and become a billionaire. 
I can't seem to believe in anything much right now...

I believe there is a Creator type thing. I don't know what exactly it is right now... however, I'm not quite going all out right now and believing in some sacred text. Sorry.

Moving on...

Has this ever happened to you, where someone confesses something to you that really did not need to be confessed? Well that happened to me today. See what happened was, we were cleaning out our lockers today, and I have two lockers. One is mine, and the other I share with a friend. So I'm at mine in the morning and cleaning out the locker, then a classmate of mine from first semester's history class comes to his locker, which is beside me. He's graduating this year, and so we are both at our lockers and cleaning them out. Here's how that went:

Enters Richie into the hallway... 1st period.
Me: Hey Richie! (smiles)
Richie: Hey Sharifa (smiles)
I thought you were gone, since you're locker was lock-less and open...
Oh no, I lost my lock... thats why. But it's my last days of school anyway, and I'm not coming back right? So i just said 'whatever' you know?
Oh.. I see.
(fnishes cleaning out my locker and touches the door)
I'm gonna miss you... -snif,snif-
Yeah, I'm actually really gonna miss you too Sharifa. (he was actually serious)

Uhh, I wasn't talking to you Richie...
Oh. (straight face)
(Laughs) But I WILL miss you too Richie. 
Oh, well at least we have that established. (smiling awkwardly)
Haha... yeah. Well, see you around Richie
Bye Sharifa.

Can you say awkward. I mean, maybe it was just me. However I always had a little feeling that he liiked me, all throughout out history he'd be looking at me, well more like starring at me. I also remember one time, I needed a fork for my rice and he was willing to go to the Korean place across the street and into a building (with a plaza inside) just to get me one. Which was very sweet. 

But yeah, it was weird and I thought about it for the rest of the day, in fact when I saw him in the hallway, I'd stil say "Hi" but it was always weird. I usually thought of Richie as the Older brother type. The nice, sweet, always there for you, older brother. He would always treat me like a sister, I think. Always talking to me and joking with me... I dunno.

Well, whatever.

Tomorrow is the very last WHOLE school day of the year, and then comes Exam week, and THEN SUMMER !!! YESS!!! Too bad this summer isn't looking very promising. Ugh. It looks like SHIT.
Now the school year is coming to an end. Next year i'm going to be in Gr. 12. SHIT!! 


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