Day One Of The Rest Of My Life. & Why Do I Attract Scary Dudes?2/24/2009 11:28:00 PM
You want to know how I know this is only DAY ONE of the rest of my life? Well even if you don't want to know, I'm going to tell you....
I finally figured out what I'm going to try and pursue in life, and it feels good! I always thought it was not fair, when all my other friends and classmates KNEW WHAT THEY WANTED TO BE FROM TIME..while I was stuck thinking "double you tee effs....i'm so fuckin lost."
at first i wanted to be a writer, ever since i was a child, i would write stories and read them to my younger sister. They are pretty good, I have read them over recently.
Cute stories about the ongoing adventures of a young girl who sees weird mystical shit an saves villages and people and animals or species...even one with mermaids.
It was like a tricked out version of Dora The Explorer.
And this was before Dora....I could've been AWESOME.
Thats was what I had hopes on since I was six...until I reached the age of twelve.
This was when my family was telling me a bunch of shit that being a writer was not a REAL career, it won't get me anywhere and to pursue something else, because Writing is worthless. So I decided that I'd move from that dream and become a lawyer. I do not know why the fuck I wanted to do that, but I had that dream for 3 or 4 years thinking "Yeah, I'll become a successful lawyer and makes shit loads of MOOLAH and show everyone how great us black women can be."
Then in grade 10, i realized I didn't really want to be a lawyer, and if I did it wasn't for me, it was for the rest of my ethnic race. It really started when I was with my Dad at parent teacher interviews and my science teacher asked me "What do you want to do?" and I honestly said:
"Well miss. I wanted to be a lawyer, but was thinking about it and...law is REALLY REALLY REALLY boring."
She laughed. But I was dead serious. (I am one of those people who are really honest, and you should see me high..im like so honest its crazy. I say things that really should NOT be said) So I exited from that dream and went to the fricken twilight zone, cause I was soo lost. I didn't know what I was going to do, I was always back and forth.
That background music person?
Im very much into the arts....
So Saturday I was thinking about what the HELL I am going to do with my GOTdamn life...
and at exactly 11:00pm I figured it out...
I'm not going to tell you, I really enjoy it and always loved to do it.
It was the first time that options came in and I was exactly sure of what I wanted to do. I filled out my option sheet in like fifteen minutes. (options for the 4th/last year of H.S)
IM FRICKEN SCARED.
I SORT OF THINK I AM NOT READY FOR LIFE!!
I am SHIT at being a loner....though a friend and I are applying to the same Uni, doesn't mean we are both getting in!!
I know she'll get in for sure, me on the other hand... -cries-
I really hope they dont pay TOO MUCH attention to your 3rd year marks and attendance. I WAS LATE A LOT last semester. I don't know why.
But yeah, I'm sure of what I want, and very happy about it.
I was on the bus going home from Night School (which i am taking to upgrade my english mark hopefully to an 87% at least!), and my friend get off the bus and I look to the side i see this black dude with tattoos all over his neck, sporting ALL BLACK:
Like he honestly looked like he was on a mission to go shoot up somesone's wife kids and grandmother all for the fact that he didn't get back some money.
AND HE'S STARRING AT ME LIKE HE'S GONNA DIG ME UP!!
So I kind of look away and wait patiently for my stop. All of a sudden I feel a poke on my elbow, and I turn:(this was honestly how the conversation went. EXACTLY.)
"What's your name?" he says.
"What's your name?"
"Oh, uh...I don't give my name to strangers....."
"Oh, I see..." -pause- "Can I get your number?"
"Uh, funy thing about that is, my grandma saw my phone bill and took my phone away so I realy dont have a phone right now. Im dead serious."
(I was dead serious too.)
So he nods and turns away.
"So, do you have a pen, so you can take down MY number?"
So now he sucks his teeth, then searches through his pockets for a penand sucks his teeth again.
"I don't have a pen either..."
-I nod in akwardness-
So now I see him at the corner of my eye STARRING AT ME and shaking his head and sucking his teeth.
"So, I can't get to know you better then?"
"Uh...No. I guess not."
"Well, youre cute."
"You're cute still."
"You are cute. Still."
"Oh. Um, thank you."
My stop comes, and so to be nice i wave at him before making my exit from the bus and from his life. He was scary, but nice oddly. Though, he isn't my type. But it's always the not so great guys, or the guys you are DEFINITELY NOT interested in, that decide to make a move and talk to you. Notice?
But whatever, I ma staying FAR FAR FAR Away from dudes right about now, cause I seriously cannot be bothered by the crazy ass stupid shit that goes on when I don't stay far away.
Im off to finsih the rest of my physics homework and go to bed.
BTW: Watch Slumdog Millionaire. It is REALLY REALLY EXCELLENT!