TOTAL RANDOMNESS: "Don't Do This To Me...Please." : The Conversation I Wish I Could Have With You.2/25/2009 12:54:00 AM
SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN YOU MOTHERFUCKING JACKASS...
You liked me.
I did, but stayed clear from you. You decide to try to get closer to me, and ended up succeeding in steeling my heart away from me, then you blow my mind and soul for four months and fuck me over?
Are you out of your motherfuckin mind?
I didn't let you get away with it. My friend put a condom on your lock, like a loser, but I used kindness to kill you.
I always defended you with my friends.
It isn't my fault that everyone felt that YOU were being the asshole.
I didn't tell anyone anything.
You try to be JUST FRIENDS, even though after a relationship like that, it seems impossible to go back to the way things naturally were.
You bring a girl by my locker and show her off for me.
You are an ass.
I stop talking to you, cause I was frustrated, that I couldn't confront you. It isn't my business what you do now. So there is nothing i can say at this point.
However, I decide to stop talking to you, in hopes that it will make things better. I am wrong, and it makes things worse. You stare at me, like a shadow, a ghost. I cannot stand it!
JUST FORGET I EXIST, IT WOULD BE SOOO MUCH EASIER!
I know deep down you know it was a mistake, breaking up with me. Maybe the WHOLE thing was a mistake, we should have stayed friends.
We were oddly good at that.
Great at that.
I could tell you anything.
Now i can't even look at you...
Even if I do, at the corner of my eye, it hurts me...
But when i see you smile at one of my jokes, which i make aloud to someone close to you, it softens me. It makes my day when you ask me a question about the work, just because im the only one who may know at the moment. I try not to talk about it, but its soo hard.
You have made shit so hard.
Why can't we be friends, at least?
I don't want to get back together, i really dont.
I am satisfied enough with being your friend. I won't even try anything with you, I will honestly be your friend and nothing more.
Don't Do That.
Don't walk away, and leave a hollow space inside me like that.
Don't do this to me, please.
I have been nothing but kind to you. I have never lied to you, talk badly about you, defend someone who considers you an enemy...nothing. I don't deserve this treatment.
I feel pathetic but, I don't want to lose complete ties with you.
Im Sorry. Im sorry, Im sorry.
I need to go, i need to leave.
It was nice "talking" to you...
Forget what I said, i just thought that we could be back to the way things were, because I hate that you go out of your way to ignore me, and I know you don't want to, so might as well we both GROW UP and set the shit aside. No?
Or do I have to be the one to grow up?
By the way...
stop telling people I hate you, everyone already knows I don't.
Gosh. I am way more mature than that.
sometimes things are better left unsaid, but like...what the hell. Sometimes things NEED to be said. How do you know the difference? I wish I could say things that I dont end up saying, out of nervousness and fear.