Dying. But I'm Still Fly...

4/07/2009 07:41:00 AM

Ok.

It's happening today, I have to keepgiving myself pep-talk though.
Like, I don't know. I'm pretty apathetic about it though...like i want to cut it, and I really don't care what most people think, but at the same time I do care cause...well. I don't even know why I care. I have looked for some BIG CHOP videos, and I was applying for jobs yesterday, andi thought..."I hope that whole natural hair vs. the workforce isn't so true." I mean, i'm not going to go relaxing my hair now, it's just...
I don't know, I'm scared about life, since I know it will change after i do this.

I was thinking about all the worst case scenarios...
My Friends won't like it.
No Guys will like it.
I'll look like my father.
It'll make my face look fat.
I'll look like my grandma...especially when I put on my glasses

However, i was remembering what I talked about one Monday in February.
http://shariebelleemancipation.blogspot.com/2009/02/monday-monday-monday-morning-and.html

This is part of my own EMANCIPATION.
I wanted to be free of the crazy shit that is perm.

I am so going to be late for school, however...I am doing my big chop today, and i am not turning back. Thirty dollars.

ITS NOT ABOUT THEM.
ITS ABOUT ME.

I AM SO TIRED!

...

Ok. this was pointless. Basically, I'm dying from nervousness...
But im going to remember what I said in January. Yes. January as well.
----

In the Shari.EBELLE Emancipated blog, i will post pictures of my hair and hair styles and how im doing with my hair and what products im using. But /i cannot do that until I get my camera.
So until then you are going to have to deal with these picture-less blogs.

Now I don't know what my issue is nowadays...

I'm getting really ROOTSy lately. Im all up in REAL hip-hop, all up in my ethnicity and being a black woman, really empowering myself and Liberating myself not being stuck behind the bars of the mainstream black women and just being me, as always, but to a fuller extent.

That was one of the reasons why i made this blog. This is mostly about me realizing that I am ME.
But the only way to be ME is to LOVE me.

And the only way to LOVE me is to be NATURALLY and AUTHENTICALLY me.

I have had a long dicussion with myself about this....and there is no other way.
This has to happen, it is Up and Running. SHARIFA'S EMANCIPATION is IN MOTION.

My Life's EMANCIPATION is in motion.
The world is changing.
And I'm changing with it.
Changing from a molded sculpture that someone else would like me to be, to being the magnificent piece of ART that I can create ON
MY OWN.

-exhales-

Yeah sorry about that.
Sometimes i have these weird bursts of self-replenishment and I need to let it all out.

I don't care if people don't like it, because it's nappy, and not bone striahgt like everyone else.

I mean, they should know, im never going to do what other people do. i am just like that...

So in as a concluding statement:


Im Still Fly freestyle - Drake

I'm still fly.

S'later.
<33
-Sharz

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